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Kickass Couples Podcast

Challenges: The Gift of Opportunity – Episode 72 – Steph & Brandon Tuss

By October 12, 2022No Comments

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

relationship, people, conflict, steph, couples, life, fun, person, growing, commitment, love, marriage, brandon, kick ass, communicate, good, communication, daughters, focusing, conversation

SPEAKERS

Kimberly Hoffman, Matthew Hoffman, Stephanie Tuss, Brandon Tuss

 

Matthew Hoffman  00:02

Welcome to the KickAss Couples Podcast. This is the place where we help committed couples who wants to level up their marriage experience newfound clarity, hope and confidence. We’re Matthew and Kim, co-hosts and husband and wife.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  00:16

in 26 years together, we’ve seen a lot and never thought it could be as good as it is right now. We’re here to help you successfully navigate the messy, dirty and wonderful world of marriage.

 

Matthew Hoffman  00:28

We believe all couples deserve and are capable of experiencing an extraordinary and fulfilling marriage. And each week we’re bringing you life lessons from real life successful couples to help you grow and strengthen your relationship.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  00:43

We’ll get started right after this message. If you want to learn how to experience the best, most fulfilling year of your marriage, we invite you to order Matthew’s new book “KickAss Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage and Sex.” You can get it at “Amazon.com” or visit Matthews website, “www.matthewphoffman.com” Again, that’s “Amazon.com” or www.matthewphoffman.com” And now, back to the show.

 

Matthew Hoffman  01:18

Welcome back to the Kick Ass Couples Podcast. Today’s episode brings us the kick ass husband and wife duo Steph and Brandon Tuss, who took their love of teaching and forged an unbreakable bond together as successful business partners and best friends for life. Steph Tuss is the CEO of a multimillion dollar global consulting company “Life is Now Inc.” Steph discovered her love for teaching at a young age beginning her career as an educator. She has a master’s degree in holistic nutrition and has her own practice to help families. She hired David Nagle and his team at “Life is Now” as her Health Practices Business Coach. She sold her business at the age of 33. And joined “Life is Now” as the Director of Sales in 2009 before taking the CEO role on in 2016. Brandon Tuss is the director of podcasting for “Life is Now” who show the successful mind podcast helps people gain clarity around what it takes to adequately shape their minds and crush it in both life and business. Brandon started off with a successful career as an elementary school teacher, but was later led to find his true calling in the self improvement industry. Over the last decade, he has continued his mission to help others. They took their common love of teaching education and empowering others and have built a deep and abiding relationship that has made them better together forever. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  01:37

Welcome back to the Kick Ass Couples Podcast. We are so excited to have a dynamic duo with us today. We are celebrating a lot today because this is our very first interview in what you see is Phoenix which is our new Airstream trailer because the last one as you know, Maynard went up in flames in July. So Phoenix rose out of the ashes. And we get to welcome Brandon and Steph Tuss who are joining us from North Carolina. We’re on the shores of Lake Norman but what? Well, first of all, welcome. We’re glad you’re here your finger. You’re breaking in Phoenix for our first interview. So

 

Brandon Tuss  03:27

Thank you. This is lovely. We absolutely are so, so privileged to be here.

 

Matthew Hoffman  03:31

We’re so great. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  03:32

It’s actually fun to be back in a studio. I think that it’s been a long time for us.

 

Matthew Hoffman  03:37

Yeah, we’re not in a living room with the green screen. We’re not picture of what Maynard used to look like behind us. It was sad.

 

Brandon Tuss  03:46

Phoenix is beautiful. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  03:47

Thank you. Thank you and the cool thing I didn’t know until after we spoke and the first time with you all was that your fellow air streamers? And I think 

 

Stephanie Tuss  03:54

We are. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  03:54

that’s 

 

Brandon Tuss  03:55

We are.

 

Matthew Hoffman  03:56

notable and how long has that been a passion of yours? I’m curious.

 

Stephanie Tuss  03:59

We got our Air Stream in October of last year. So we’ve been air streaming for about not even almost a year.

 

Brandon Tuss  04:07

Coming up on our one year anniversary with our industry. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  04:09

Taken 15 trips? 

 

Brandon Tuss  04:11

We have we’ve done a cross country trip. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  04:13

Yeah.

 

Brandon Tuss  04:13

 We’ve gone to the Florida coast

 

Stephanie Tuss  04:16

Yeah. Been to Montana. Like we’ve.. 

 

Brandon Tuss  04:18

used it yeah, we’ve used it yeah, absolutely.

 

Matthew Hoffman  04:22

Love that. Love that. Well, good. We’re so glad to have you here today and welcome you to the Kick Ass Couples Podcast and we’d like to start out kind of with the first question for everybody as I’d like to know from both of you. You can either start either one may start what makes you actually Steph, since I’m looking right at you, Steph, what do you think makes you all a kick ass couple?

 

Stephanie Tuss  04:42

You know, I’ve never considered us a kick ass couple, honestly, I just I just considered us us. Right? Like we always just did our own thing. We’ve always kind of been the black sheep in all of our families. We’ve always kind of tested the boundaries. So it was kind of like, you know, we’re just a team. And I think that that team that, you know, we share the same value system. We’re on the same page. We have great communication. I think I think that will probably be some of the major things that make us a kick ass couple. But it’s interesting because even being invited here, and like, I never considered as a guest couple, but we really are like, I’ll own that.

 

Matthew Hoffman  05:23

Those who introduced us to you they go, Oh, these guys are so kick ass you got to meet them.

 

Stephanie Tuss  05:28

And we have we have so much fun together. I mean, it’s just super grateful. Yeah, super grateful.

 

Matthew Hoffman  05:35

Brandon, I’m gonna turn to you. What do you think makes you What would you add to that?

 

Brandon Tuss  05:38

Yeah, I mean, I would add that it’s like Steph said, it’s always just been us. You know, we met as school teachers way back in a former life. And I remember the first time I laid eyes on her and I walked into that library. And I was like, Whoa, who is that? You know, she’s, she’s pretty amazing. And immediately I started making fun of her, which is my way of showing love is to kind of poke fun and be sarcastic. And one day, she just threw it right back at me. And she cut me down a little bit. And at that moment, I’m like, yeah, she’s a keeper right there. She can take and she can also push back. 

 

Brandon Tuss  06:13

It was Yeah. 

 

Brandon Tuss  06:15

She totally can. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  06:17

She’s my girl. 

 

Brandon Tuss  06:18

Yes, she is. And from there, it was just it’s just a whirlwind. And we just always had fun. You know, we have both have this strong sense of adventure. Like we want to just experience everything, Steph is a is a huge experience junkie. And I love getting out there and, and doing, you know, like camping or going on cruises or going overseas on a trip. And, you know, our kids grew up in that life. They love being a part of all the experiences we have. And I think that’s what really Steph brings to the table for me is just she’s always willing to try something once. She’s not a I don’t know about that. And when she says yes, her yes is for like she sticks to the plan. She can deviate. Of course, that’s something I’ve learned is that I need to deviate more sometimes. But she really is one of those people that she she sort of drives the train. I mean, she is the yes person. I may yes, after a little bit. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  06:29

Okay.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  06:30

I love it. So I hear you guys saying that really teamwork and fun and adventure is what really makes you KickAss. It’s what really keeps you guys moving forward 

 

Stephanie Tuss  07:19

Yeah. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  07:20

with your relationship. And that’s fun.

 

Stephanie Tuss  07:22

I think I think it really, I think it’s super important that we share the same value system. You know, the things that are important to me are the things that are important to him. I just think, you know, when I see when I see breakdowns and relationships, generally you’ve got couples who, who have a differing value system, or they grow apart. And we’ve been together for 23 years, been through three career changes, you know, multiple life changes. And I think it’s just like our values and our beliefs that keep us really, really strong.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  07:53

really grounded. Yes,

 

Stephanie Tuss  07:54

really grounded. That’s that’s a great terminology very much.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  07:59

Well, I always find it interesting in relationships, when we talk a little bit about our families of origin, because I really believe that we are products of the people who raised us. And sometimes as you will know, that can be a really positive experience, or it can suddenly be a negative experience. And so I’m just curious, I’m going to ask you first, Brandon, what did love look like in your family? When you were growing up? How was it expressed when you were a child? Yeah,

 

Brandon Tuss  08:29

this is this is a great question. And I kind of had a feeling this one was coming. So what’s interesting about that is is my my mom’s side of the family was very, very loving, they were very affectionate. They really did a lot of like, personal touch, a lot of hugs, and those sorts of things. And I would get that from that side of the family, then from my dad’s side of the family, next to none at all. So it was kind of walking that balance, and my mom trying to be affectionate with me, but I leaned more towards my dad’s side of how love was shown. So I really didn’t, I really didn’t believe in the hugs, didn’t believe in the affection didn’t really want any part of that I was just happy being my own my own person. And that actually was somewhat of an issue when we got together because one of the things that stuff, you know, one of her love languages is personal touch. And I was really closed off to it. So for me, trying to figure out how best to change who I was to be more open and honest and bring that intimacy into the relationship. But to go back to your initial question, my family really didn’t show that they showed love through actions they didn’t show love through. I’m going to hug you I’m going to tell you how good you are. I’m just going to maybe get you this toy or something along those lines. So that’s really how I was modeled that and I wanted to change that for my daughters and for our relationship.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  09:55

So you didn’t see it expressed very much at all. Not at all. Not at all. So that does Has later in life come back to you when you find someone who sounds like is maybe a little bit your opposite. Yes, very bad should be stuff lovely, which I’m sure we’ll get into that a little bit more later. But I hear you How about your stuff, tell me a little bit about what love look like in your family when you were growing up how it was expressed.

 

Stephanie Tuss  10:21

So love in my family was pretty dysfunctional as well. I’m an adult, I’m an adult, what it what is it? I’ve said this a million times my father was an alcoholic, he got sober when I was 16. We have a great relationship now. But when I was growing up, the mood in my house was very tenuous, it was very, very stressful, there was a lot of conflict. And my mom was highly affectionate. So I feel like my mom, my mom was an example of showering with love, but there was always strings attached. So I grew up in a very manipulative environment, meaning like love was never free, there was always strings attached, or there was always something that could go like you couldn’t trust the adults in in your life. So I feel like my outlook on it as I was growing up was to collect all the things that I didn’t want to be do or have, and not be do or have those when I was an adult. So it like it almost gave me a contrast of my mom who was really affectionate, which I love. And I do I do love affection and love to give affection. I’m very affectionate with my kids. But also the parts of it that aren’t healthy. Right, the the codependency that comes with growing up in an alcoholic environment, I had to really do a lot of work on myself to to understand what was going on. And why I was feeling the way that I was though I was feeling to not bring that over into my relationship with me.

 

Matthew Hoffman  11:53

So it sounds like you guys each had some different experiences. So you know, the magic of coming together in a relationship? How did you guys meld those two backgrounds into one that’s worked? Obviously, it seems so well, for 23 years? How did you? How did you approach approach weaving those two realities and backgrounds together?

 

Stephanie Tuss  12:14

You know, I think it was I, I was I was one of those, you know, unconscious competence, where I was just kind of muddling my way through life, I did get some great values from my parents, it wasn’t all like craziness and dysfunction. But I always I was always deeply introspective of myself. So even when I was in college, I was reading self help books I was I was seeing a therapist, I have a strong value in self improvement in that you can change things that you don’t like or that you don’t want to experience anymore. So I remember, like, in the first couple of years of marriage, there were some really rough spots, and I said, you know, either we’re for each other, or we’re against each other. There’s, there’s no in between. So either we need to grow together, or we need to, we need to be apart. And I think that that’s what I mean, when I say that, I feel like we’re a rockstar couple because we share the same value system. And a big part of that value system is personal growth, and always trying to be a better person in some way, shape or form. Sure.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  13:15

I love hearing that. I think personal growth is such an important factor in relationships. And I think enough of enough of us don’t realize that or come to that until we’re a little bit older. And we’ve matured, and we’ve grown up a little bit, and then we realize what an impact that that can make on our relationships. So I appreciate you sharing that with our listeners.

 

Matthew Hoffman  13:38

Yeah, good stuff. And so you know, we have 14 pillars that we think are kind of the key, there’s one in front of you a copy of that. And we think of those 14, we have three that we think are kind of foundational, we call those the three C’s. And the first of those C’s is commitment. And so I’d love to start with you and say, What does commitment look like in the relationship that you all have together? How would you define it? How does it show up? And if you had to describe what commitment looks like to you?

 

Stephanie Tuss  14:09

I think what commitment looks like to me is that I so our relationship is based on agreements, we make agreements all the time, right? So can we make an agreement that when this happens, we don’t respond this way again? Or can we make an agreement that when we’re dealing with the kids, this happens. So it’s very much tied to agreements? And I think agreements play a big part in commitment, because it’s about making a decision, right? We’re deciding that we’re doing this together and we’re going to do it the best way we possibly can. And once you decide, there’s no there’s no other option you’ve you’ve decided you’re committed right? I mean, everybody in every marriage has had rough times where their brain goes to I wonder what it would just be like to be alone right I mean, even if you wish Britain your secret thoughts, you know you have those those voices in the back of your Your head, right? But when you’ve made a commitment to, to yourself to who you want to be, and we’ve made a commitment to another person to, to communicate honestly about what’s going on, and that voice gets quieter and quieter, because you know, there’s always a solution. So commitment to me means focusing on the positive, focusing on the solutions, and not focusing on all the things that could be could be wrong at the time. Does that make sense? A

 

Matthew Hoffman  15:25

great focus, what I saw, I hear you saying is you’re focusing on when you get agreement, you’re agreeing, how you’re going to do something, and that you’ll support each other in that. So that question is off the table, right, so you’re not pulling in opposite ends of the rope, but that you’re working through and focusing on what the inherent good is, and what can be as opposed to looking at things that should be different. And you know, magnifying the good and focusing on what you have together,

 

Stephanie Tuss  15:50

right, you have a choice, you have a choice in how you experience things like you see a pair of socks on the floor, you can either focus on this, you know, lazy, you know, crappy on thoughtful person that left his socks on the floor, or you can just pick the socks up and put them away and focus on the amazing loving husband that you have sleeping next to you in bed at night. So I really think that you have personal responsibility and personal choice and how you both respond and and or how you experience and how you react to things within a relationship.

 

Matthew Hoffman  16:20

That’s great. I love that when How would you add to that? Or what would what you know, what do you feel commitment looks like in your relationship?

 

Brandon Tuss  16:26

Yeah, for me, Commitment means committing to getting it right. And that means committing to growing like you spoke about earlier, bettering, you’re always bettering our best. It’s a mantra that we use a lot in our family always bettering your best. I mean, there’s days, when, like you said, you just want to be frustrated and angry, and you want to just mail it in. But for me commitment, when I when I set my mind to something, I am committed to seeing it through. And it’s gotten me in trouble sometimes because I don’t often deviate from the plan. But when I do start to recognize that there is something that I’m working towards always I’m never going to be perfect. And we’ve acknowledged that we’re not going to ever get it 100%, right. But if we commit to one another, that we’re going to continue to grow, then good things are going to come out of that. And there was a time when you know Steph was laughing me. I was falling behind as far as growth was concerned. And she was leaps and bounds making quantum leaps in her life, doing the work putting in the time to better herself. And I was just kind of riding her coattails and thinking, Well, I don’t really buy into all the personal growth stuff. But I’ll I’ll just hang out and see how this shakes out. And we had some conversations around, you know, like you said, you’re either with me or you’re not. And it really woke me up. And it was a hard conversation to have. And at that moment, I said, I need to commit to being better being a better person. Because what I was doing was, I was recreating basically my father, I was becoming my dad and my dad has good qualities he’s given me, you know, good work ethic and those sorts of solid solid pieces that I got as a kid, but he wasn’t around a lot. And he was angry a lot. And I was embodying that. So we talk in our company about this like generational J curve. And it’s like this marble that floats around in the J down on the bottom. And that’s where I was I was in that position where I was just going to repeat mistakes. And I didn’t want to do that anymore. So for me, commitment is sticking it through getting it right and always working towards what’s best for both of us.

 

Matthew Hoffman  18:40

A lot, a lot of great pearls i love the concept, I’m sure will repeat, veteran, your best. How to better your best and hanging out in the wrong part of the J there. It’s a roll up. All right, how do we get the inertia to get that steep climb? Right? That’s wonderful.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  18:57

This is a great segue into our second pillar that we believe is super important in a relationship. And that’s communication. As you well know community. It just plays a huge role in how we treat each other, how we respond to each other how we interact with each other. So I’m, I’m curious, what does communication look like in your relationship? How do you make time to communicate, you’re both really busy, and probably get sucked into your vortex? And you kind of forget about each other from time to time.

 

Stephanie Tuss  19:33

Yeah, and we also work in the same company. So our conversations have to have like, are we having conversation as CEO to employee or are we having conversation that’s, you know, husband and wife so we learned that quite like wait a second, what’s my role here? Am I just supposed to listen to you or am I supposed to help problem solve so yeah, like what

 

Kimberly Hoffman  19:56

am I playing? What role Am I playing in this moment? Like pause Who am I Am I a spouse? Or am I just eventually,

 

Stephanie Tuss  20:03

we just had this conversation other days. He’s like, are you he’s like, I need you to be just my wife right now. And I usually just listen to what I have to say. And you don’t even need to say anything about it.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  20:12

Because I’m a fixer, right.

 

Stephanie Tuss  20:13

I know what I need to do. Yeah. So I think communication, and I’m a huge communicator, like, I’m the CEO of a company. It’s one of our like, main tenants of radical candor, communication within our team, we have a fantastic team. Communication is really important to me. My kids will probably laugh when they hear this podcast, because I’ve been, I’ve been the person to put them in a room together and say, All right, we’re going to talk it out. Let’s see what’s going on. Because you know, and just like, talk, just communicate about it. So I think communication shows up for me in in A, making sure that we each know what role we’re in when we’re communicating that’s really big, that’s caused a lot of problems for us in the past, where I’m thinking that he’s talking to me in business mode. So I go into problem solving and giving suggestions. And that’s actually not what he needs in that moment. And vice versa. But I think communication means taking responsibility for your own feelings, like anything that I feel is not because of anything he’s done to me, it’s because of something within myself that’s being triggered. And vice versa. So you know, I can say to him, I’m feeling this right now. I know, it’s not you, I’m working myself through it. But let’s talk about how we can do this different next time. Like, you know, and just like taking responsibility for your own feelings. And then communicating that to to your spouse I think is really important. But the roles thing was a big one for us, I have to say.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  21:42

And I bet I’m sure there are so many of our listeners who work together and probably have a lot of the same issues. So I really appreciate you saying that clarification is important. What role am I playing right now? 

 

Stephanie Tuss  21:58

Yeah.Yeah

 

Kimberly Hoffman  21:58

What about for you?

 

Kimberly Hoffman  21:59

Yeah. I mean, for me, I love I love this conversation, because I put a box around this one as something I need to work on. Like, I’m always working. You would not think someone who’s loquacious as myself would have a problem communicating, but it’s that communicating with your spouse is much different than being funny in a room full of people. You know, I’m the class clown. I’m the comedian. I’m the one that makes people laugh. But when it gets down to it, and it’s it boils down to just being open and honest, just being able to and I’m, I’m a sweep it under the rug or was a sweep it under the rug kind of person. I would have a horrible you know, we’d have a little blow up dust up. And I would just sweep it under the rug. And I’d come back and pretend as if it didn’t happen and Steph..

 

Stephanie Tuss  22:44

Yeah.

 

Brandon Tuss  22:44

beautifully would remind me “No, that is not how we’re going to do this. We’re going to be honest, we’re going to sit down, we’re going to have this conversation. This happened, what can we learn from it.” Whereas I just wanted to move on because that was my dad’s pattern. That was my mom’s pattern, the the elephant in the room is not going to be discussed. So for me, it was understanding that I’m not alone in this, I have to be sensitive of everyone else’s feelings and not just be myself and start thinking a little bit about what is it going to take to be able to be a stronger communicator? And like I said, I’m working on it every single day. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  23:18

Yeah. And I think it’s about honoring each other’s communication style, too. Right? So like, I, if something happens, I’m not ready to talk about it right away, I’ve got to think about it. Like I think through things, I’m very, I choose my words carefully. I’m not I’m not a reaction or reactionary at all, it’s just not within me to be reactionary. So if something happens, you know, him giving me the space to really figure out how I want to have this conversation knowing that if I don’t want to have the conversation with him right now, it doesn’t mean anything about him. And him, you like to think about it as well. So you like space, you like to let the trigger kind of go first before we come at it. So it’s kind of it kind of goes both ways where we, we we have an agreement that we’re going to discuss things, but we also have an agreement that that might take some time. And it might not follow the rule of don’t go to bed angry. Sometimes we go to bed angry because we need the space to be able to figure out what actually happens so that we can come together and have a productive conversation about it. I also think communication ties in with number six was intimacy. Because I think to really communicate honestly, you’ve got to be vulnerable, right? There has to be that level of intimacy between the two of you. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  24:29

Right.

 

Stephanie Tuss  24:29

 And that’s, that’s, I think, what what we worked on really early on in our relationship

 

Brandon Tuss  24:34

Yeah.

 

Stephanie Tuss  24:34

 with that vulnerability. I mean, that’s, that’s why people put up boxes, right, is that they feel like to put a protective layer as it is scary. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  24:41

to be vulnerable with our spouses. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  24:43

Yeah.

 

Matthew Hoffman  24:43

It is. Yeah.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  24:44

 But I love that you you know, you figure out communication styles with each other. Usually one’s a pursuer, and one is a retriever. That’s what we found. I think most

 

Matthew Hoffman  24:54

typically, yeah. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  24:55

 people

 

Matthew Hoffman  24:55

sounds like both y’all are just distancers,  meaning when when there’s a dustup that happens, you want to, I think what you shared Steph, is you want to take some time you want to think about it, what’s the best way to go? And Brandon, you’re going I just rather not deal with it and forget about it. For you used to used to get used to yes used to that. And and so it’s interesting because typically one person and I would be the pursuer say, hey, let’s talk about this. I want to figure it out. Come on, it’s now while it’s fresh. And Kim is a lot like, I want to think about it. Maybe a day,  half a day could be two or three days, I’ll let you know when I’m ready. doesn’t mean we’re not going to talk about it. But I need to process so let me process and so once you forgot to dance, and you made the comment earlier about not going to bed angry. And it’s funny. We interviewed I was mentioning another couple we interviewed that were married 62 years. And they said we never do that. And that worked for them. But it’s kind of a I don’t wanna say a wives tale, but it works for some people. And it doesn’t work for some people, and it doesn’t matter. You know, there are a hard and fast rules where like, we’re not going to hit each other. We’re not gonna put our hands on each other. You know, everybody has those hard and fast rules. But I think the whole thing about not going to bed angry is you want to handle the issue, when it’s the best time for the relationship for it to be handled. It’s us and I were you but us and see if it’s good for us. It’s gonna win for everybody. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  26:16

Yep. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  26:17

So we kind of dispel that wives tale.

 

Brandon Tuss  26:20

Breaking myth busting right here. While we’re at it, why don’t we love means never having to say you’re sorry, because I say I’m sorry, at least 100 times a week. So let’s just get lit up and not just necessarily to you. But mostly in my life. It’s like one of those things where I know I am. It’s one of those things. But one thing I did want to go back to with communication that I think is really good, is that I wanted to solve problems. Like when Steph was talking about I need you to just be like, just listen to me right now, I have gotten really good and intuitive about understanding when I should speak and when I shouldn’t. And I can tell when she’s in a mode where she just needs to be heard. And I can listen before I would interrupt I would blurt in, I would cut off, I would put up a wall. And I’ve learned in the past in the past two or three years with, you know, therapy and all these sorts of things to be able to speak it when I when when the time is right. I now know. And know her communicate, communicative dance.

 

Stephanie Tuss  27:16

Yeah, well you ask too do you need me to help you solve this or do I just

 

Brandon Tuss  27:18

Yeah, and I think that’s really helpful. Yeah, yeah, it sounds so simple. But yet, it’s so difficult. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  27:23

Why is that so. For everyone really.

 

Brandon Tuss  27:23

 That’s a good

 

Matthew Hoffman  27:25

 I wanna follow up on 

 

Matthew Hoffman  27:25

Well. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  27:28

You know.

 

Matthew Hoffman  27:28

Yeah, that’s huge. Because I think you guys just touched on one of the biggest issues is when someone is struggling or has a frustration, and it may have nothing to do with you asking, What do you need? How can I best support you right now, one of the things in this moment, one of the things we talked about a lot is, at any point in time, you gotta know what your spouse is biggest need is at that time, doesn’t mean it’s gonna be that way for a year might be a day, an hour, a week, a month, a season, but how can I best support you right now? And that could be when an issue dusts up. But if you don’t know, you’re like, Okay, I’m gonna come in and do what I always do. That’s not really what needs to happen to best support that person that you love. So I let you guys talk about that. And as like, what do you need? How do you need me to communicate with you right now? To for whatever we’re in, or you’re in, or I’m in or another family member might be in one of our children? Right? How can we do that? And I think and that’s a lot of you talked about contracting and negotiating. Let’s agree what we’re going to do. What agreements do we need to handle this the best for us or those that we’re trying to serve? And so you guys have brought some great stuff. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  28:40

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Matthew Hoffman  29:31

You know, kind of goes into then our third C which is conflict resolution. And if people says oh, we never argue about anything, you know, I think well, you’re just not telling the truth. Because, you know, that might not be anything the other person did. It could be just you had a day at work and someone rubbed you the wrong way. And then your spouse walks in and they get peppered right with all the fodder that came out of what happened to you. So start with you when when conflicts arise, how do you guys handle that in your relationship? How do you approach it?

 

Stephanie Tuss  30:04

So we’re both highly conflict averse. Based on our, on our childhood, on our childhood drama, we’ve both learned to fly under the radar and avoid conflict as much as possible. But that’s not possible when you have a role like I have, because there’s conflict everywhere. So part of it for me was kind of really looking at finding the gift in the conflict, like, Okay, this is a conflict this happened. Like, there’s always a gift in it. So even though you can’t see it right away, you might not see it for days, you might not see it for months, you know, that there’s something good that’s going to come out of it, not always focusing on this as a bad thing. You know, having that fatalistic thinking where it’s all bad, or, or, you know, head in the sand, where it’s all good. This is wow, this really sucks right now. And I wonder, like, there’s got to be some some lesson in this, there’s gotta be some good in this. So I’m gonna go through this really uncomfortable thing, we’re gonna have it out. Whether that looks like, you know, just, I mean, you know, we don’t, we’re not like combative with each other at all. It’s like, I want you to listen to what I have to say, I will listen to what you have to say, we may have to agree to disagree at this point. But let’s get it on the table for right now and then figure out how we can how we can move forward so this doesn’t happen again. Right? How we can set a new agreement or what we can learn about each other, or, you know, how I can respond differently to a situation? I think is? I mean, it’s, it’s interesting, because because we’re both so conflict averse, we both kind of retreat inside when there is conflict. So we’re both kind of silent treatment errs. Right? Like, if I get upset, I get really quiet. When he gets upset. He gets quiet, but he’ll like I can you can tell, you know, you can tell him you’ve lived with eachother for forever, right? 

 

Stephanie Tuss  31:54

Like, 

 

Brandon Tuss  31:55

You’re in tune.

 

Stephanie Tuss  31:55

we’ve been together more than we’ve been apart, you know, like at this point. So it’s, it’s kind of like saying, Okay, well, we’re going to be silent for a while. And then we’re going to talk about this. And we’re going to find like, what the good is gonna, what good is gonna come from this? Like, what’s the lesson here? What’s the thing we need to change?

 

Kimberly Hoffman  32:11

I hear you saying, you’re always looking for the opportunity.

 

Stephanie Tuss  32:14

Yes. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  32:14

Within the conflict.

 

Stephanie Tuss  32:15

Yes. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  32:16

And I think that is awesome. I really believe that conflict arises, there is an opportunity for us to learn and to grow. And I think a lot of people don’t see conflict in that light. And when they learn to do that, that’s when their marriage really, I think takes off and they’re able to accomplish a lot.

 

Matthew Hoffman  32:37

That’s an invitation. We interviewed a Rabbi and his wife, and he said, conflict is an invitation

 

Stephanie Tuss  32:44

 That’s amazing 

 

Matthew Hoffman  32:44

to engagement

 

Matthew Hoffman  32:44

It’s an invitation, and you can either accept the invitation, or you can reject it. And we say, I’m rejecting your invitation to come together? Doesn’t sound that nice, but what do you how do you have you handle that when conflicts arise between the two of you?

 

Kimberly Hoffman  32:45

And to learn.

 

Brandon Tuss  32:47

Yeah.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  32:49

 Yeah I mean, that’s

 

Brandon Tuss  33:01

Well, first of all, that’s a great shift, you know, what you’ve just said about being an invitation because for me, conflict is something to avoid at all cost. You know, I still get very, very shaken up whenever there’s any sort of conflict, even if somebody’s lightly raising their voice to another person, I get really, really charged. Like, I can feel myself vibrating.

 

Stephanie Tuss  33:21

We just had this experience. We were doing an event. Can I say why here? We were doing an event. Ironically enough, I was doing a retreat with seven figure business owners on how to lead their teams from a really compassionate place and how to have difficult conversations and the and while I was having this conversation in the hall, there was a manager like screaming at an employee and you could hear like him clapping his hands together, and it was just like, it was so jarring and to witness the room. Everybody in the room I think was conflict averse. It was just like it was so traumatic to listen to this happening outside the outside the doors and I know you felt it we made eye contact I felt it like like that conflict 

 

Brandon Tuss  34:07

It just feels unsafe.

 

Stephanie Tuss  34:08

 Oh, it felt so it feels so unsafe. Yeah.

 

Brandon Tuss  34:10

Yeah. That’s what it is. To me is conflict always felt unsafe to me. Like it felt like because I grew up in a small mining town in Montana. And the culture was all about drinking and fighting that’s what it was. I can honestly say I’ve never been in a fight my entire life. I made up a fight so I could write a sixth grade essay but that was complete fabrication. Sorry Mrs. Cainy.

 

Matthew Hoffman  34:32

Truth comes out.

 

Brandon Tuss  34:34

Yeah so but I but it was always one of those things where keep your head on a swivel you know, there’s conflict is right around the corner kind of scary, like thug type situations. So for me, it was always flying under the radar always being you know, just distancing yourself distance yourself from it. And it’s going back to this sweeping it under the rug like I sweep it under the rug so often, that the rug starts to get all these knots in it and before you know what I’m tripping over it, and I’m falling flat on my face. That’s what conflict was to me, it was, let’s sweep it under the rug, and then it’ll eventually blow up. We’ll get it out in the open, maybe a week, maybe two weeks, maybe a month, it never went that long. But it was something that I just didn’t want to handle in the moment. But I realized that a lot of times, if you can just come to your spouse come to Steph and say, Look, I’m struggling with this. I felt this way when you said this, or I’m experiencing you as this. And then once I did that, once I changed the language around it, it helped me to be able to be more communicative. Like I said, I’m still working on it tremendously. But it’s, it’s been helpful to get the language right around it and understanding that we’re in this together, we are a team. And I think that’s super important.

 

Brandon Tuss  34:34

Truth telling 

 

Matthew Hoffman  34:35

here we go 

 

Stephanie Tuss  35:47

That’s key, you know, just you’re on the same team. It’s not, not you versus me. It’s us, right? 

 

Matthew Hoffman  35:53

Yeah.

 

Stephanie Tuss  35:53

Yeah. 

 

Brandon Tuss  35:54

We’re in it’s kindness. You know, we’re kind people, we have kind hearts, we are kind to each other. We’re not demeaning, we don’t poke fun. We don’t, you know, you know, make fun of or demean any sort of way. It’s like, you know, I love this woman for the person she is and who she’s taught me to be a better person. And she’s instilled that in our daughters as well. And it’s cool to see that that can come out of conflict. Like we it wasn’t like you said, it wasn’t always great in the beginning. It was pretty tough the first few years, because I was going to just slide right into the role of my dad, you know, she does the cleaning, she does the cooking, I sit down and yell at the football game, like, and that’s how it was for a while. And then it’s like, this is not working. And it wasn’t working for me. It wasn’t working for her. So we came to a point like, okay, let’s figure this out. And that’s when that’s when the real work starts.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  36:25

 Yeah, exactly. That’s when the real work starts.

 

Brandon Tuss  36:47

 And a lot of people nowadays are just cutting and run. And they’re like, No, I’m not going to put 

 

Stephanie Tuss  36:50

I’m not cut out for this. I’m not doing it. 

 

Brandon Tuss  36:51

No, we put in a lot of work.

 

Matthew Hoffman  36:53

Plan B didn’t work. All right. Okay, I can go do something else. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  36:58

Yeah. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  36:59

And I think, you know, when you’re talking about conflict, what makes it safe in conflict with to know that you can have it is if there’s commitment, you can say, Alright, I know that there’s no disagreement that’s going to have relationship ending power.

 

Stephanie Tuss  37:13

 Right. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  37:13

So if that’s off the table, we can, I’m free to talk and discuss and sounds like you have given each other through your commitment to the relationship, you know, that you’re in it for you. So therefore, you can figure out what’s the best way to address it. So you can work through it and diminish it moving forward. And that’s, that’s gold, that’s money. And that’s, I think, and it’s not his work, it’s not easy. It might be easier to cut and run and restart someplace else. But I think that, that doesn’t make it worthwhile. And, you know, you’ve been doing it for 23 years, we’re coming up on 28 in gosh, next month. 

 

Brandon Tuss  37:52

That’s exciting 

 

Matthew Hoffman  37:53

Next month, and and it’s it’s never been better, and it’s never been better, because we’re getting better at the fundamentals every day.

 

Stephanie Tuss  38:00

 Yeah.

 

Matthew Hoffman  38:00

It’s no, there’s no silver bullet, there’s no rocks, you know, take a pill, drink a drink, doesn’t work. But the willingness to have the fundamentals there, and it sounds like you you guys have committed to that. So takes the staying or the worry or the fear. And then just about well, we got to work at it.

 

Brandon Tuss  38:17

Yeah. Just to jump in what was really interesting, it just kind of jarred a memory. When we were first dating, we got into an argument. And in that argument, I thought that it was over. I thought, we’re breaking up. Because when you have an argument, you it’s over. There’s no coming back from that. And I said, so I guess we’re breaking up and she’s like, No, we’re not breaking up. We’re having an argument. Having arguments can be healthy, because it’s communicating to get to a common goal. I was completely ready to just mail it all in and be like, Yeah, I screwed up, I guess we’re done by. And she saw, she helped me see the light that said, You know what, this is a normal thing that couples do, we’re gonna have this argument, we’re gonna get through it, and then we’re going to be better off because of it. But it just reminded me when you were talking about that, about how, how young we were, and how, you know, like short sighted my mind was in that in those moments, but, you know, thankfully, we stuck it out. And here we are, it’s really cool.

 

Matthew Hoffman  39:14

Love it. And so one thing I want to also want to recognize you both for is your ability to accept influence from each other, because that’s a huge indicator really, of the success of any relationship. I mean, especially romantic and life partners. But in business or other if you’re not willing to value someone else’s opinions as if they were your own, not when to accept influence from them. And you both have stated that in talking about our three C’s so far, and about some of your family origin and history is that you’re willing, you want to learn you want to understand and you want to listen so that desire is huge. Because when you accept that influence really stepping into your partner’s shoes and it brings you closer together. So I just want to give you some kudos and recognize your commitment to that because that’s huge and accepting influence and just in our discussion so far today, you’re doing a wonderful job of passing the torch back and forth. And that’s your willingness to accept that that influence.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  40:09

We have 11 other pillars that we believe it takes to make a relay that are essential in a relationship and to be successful. These 11 other pillars are really important. Is there one Brandon that resonates with you, other than the first three that we just talked about?

 

Brandon Tuss  40:28

I mean, I did my homework before I came in to the show. I circled number 14 fun and humor. It’s who I am. It’s what it’s what really turning the tide. I think that and my Levi’s, maybe turned the tide for Steph back when we were back when we were back when we were just young kids.

 

Matthew Hoffman  40:45

Is it the departure that

 

Brandon Tuss  40:46

Departure Yeah, but it really was, it really was fun and humor. You know, for me, it’s always been something of a defense mechanism for me, but it’s also I love to make people smile, and I love to make Steph laugh. And when Steph is laughing, it takes away from the tremendous stress that she does experience in her job. I mean, being a CEO is not easy. And she’s, she’s really blossomed in that role. So it’s really cool, to be able to make her laugh and keep things light, even in the most tense of situations. So, you know, being early since last year, you know, we have an empty nest now, because both our daughters are away from the house. It was really odd, the first couple of weeks of just

 

Stephanie Tuss  41:31

First couple of months for 

 

Brandon Tuss  41:32

Yeah, maybe just sitting around. And we didn’t really know how to we had to date again, like we had to start dating again, after 20 plus years of marriage, because you lived your life through these for these children for so many years. And now they’re, they’re out of the house, and you’re left to just spend time. But we once we got through that, and they the kids came home, you know, for a week and it’s like, oh, this is great. Now get out because we’re really enjoying the dating. The dating part of things.

 

Matthew Hoffman  41:59

You forgot about that don’t you?

 

Stephanie Tuss  42:00

We can go to a movie on a school night. 

 

Brandon Tuss  42:02

Right? Yeah,we can do whatever we want to do. And you 

 

Matthew Hoffman  42:04

Wanna go out on a Tuesday?

 

Brandon Tuss  42:05

Right? Exactly! So but to get back to your point that for me, it’s all about fun and humor, just bringing a light side to it. There’s a time to be serious. But for us, there’s also a time to laugh and let out that release because of what we do in our in our work lives. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  42:21

Yeah. I agree. Can I pick the same one or do I have to pick a different one?  

 

Kimberly Hoffman  42:27

Or if

 

Kimberly Hoffman  42:27

 there is one that really stands out.

 

Brandon Tuss  42:31

You got a tattoo.

 

Stephanie Tuss  42:34

Yeah. So I have trust tattooed on my wrist. For a number of reasons. One is that I’ve been working really hard on building trust with myself, because I don’t think that you can trust. I don’t think you can trust people. I don’t think you can trust God, I don’t think you can trust life without trusting yourself first. So trust has been a big a big thing in my life. I’ve had trust. I’ve been you know, I’ve had trust trampled on a little bit. And growing up. So building trust with myself was really big. And I have to say that that’s probably you’re probably right, it’s number four trust and honesty.

 

Brandon Tuss  43:11

I didn’t mean to call you out for your cool tattoo. I just love that you carry with you. It’s so perfect.

 

Stephanie Tuss  43:16

And it’s just a reminder for me to always be a trustworthy person. And to give kind of everyone the benefit of the doubt, to trust people to be people but to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. And I think for us, like I trust Brandon implicitly, he’s completely trustworthy. And, and secondly, we just, you know, our relationship is is so much fun. And he does bring so much humor like he brings so much brevity brevity levity. What’s the word to any, any environment that we’re in, like I could be, you know, really stuck in my head trying to figure out a really tough emotional problem. And he’ll say something, and it will just change the entire mood, right? Like, it’ll just break it and I’ll be able to see something different. But I think trust is probably really, really big for me in that I know that no matter what happens, no matter you know what I say no matter what I do that I can trust that he’s always gonna be there.

 

Brandon Tuss  44:17

That is a big one.

 

Matthew Hoffman  44:17

It is and they all weave together. It’s not like one is more important. I mean, 

 

Brandon Tuss  44:21

Totally. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  44:22

you know, commitment, I say is the cornerstone is key. Because if you don’t have it doesn’t matter what else is. Right. But the others, they all weave into each other. We kind of play the game in the webinars that we do in our in our membership program, and we say, All right, we’re talking about this pillar tonight, but how does it relate to the others? And how do you know what what’s the connection? It’s fun to do that and, you know, one thing that we talk about a lot in our podcast is called spillover thinking and we’re big proponents, we say that, you know, your marriage is your number one human relationship. So if it’s not the most important human relationship, then there’s something in these other pillars that are messed up, because you have to really have that focus So first, it’s all about prioritization, you got to prioritize that person above all other people. Otherwise there’s going to be issues. And but success in this relationship, I feel spills over into other areas of your life. So, if it’s the center of your, your being and what you’re doing, and there’s so much good, my goal is to pour so much into my wife, that she’s like, I can’t contain it. Well, what happens is it spills over to everybody else she comes into contact with and that could be family, it could be your church, it could be work, it could be our kids. So I’d love to ask the question to you all. How does the goodness of your relationship spill over into other areas of your lives?

 

Brandon Tuss  45:37

Well, I think, you know, just seeing how our daughters have grown up, and them seeing good positive role models of, you know, couples that play together, stay together and have fun together, I think they are very selective in who they allow to be romantically involved with, you know, our oldest daughter’s 21. She’s had a great boyfriend for many years, I’m sure very, very soon, they’ll probably be engaged. And I know, yeah, it’s coming, right? But it’s really cool that they get a chance to see how we, because we didn’t have the best role models as far as relationships were growing up.

 

Stephanie Tuss  46:13

 Right. 

 

Brandon Tuss  46:13

So for us to be able to pass that on to our kids, it shows them that, you know, trust yourself first. And you know, you can love whoever you want to love, just make sure you give it 100% of your effort. And I think that’s cool to be able to pass that along to our kids.

 

Stephanie Tuss  46:29

I think something that we pass along is we’re both we both have a value of generosity, like we’re both very generous. And that spills over into into everybody in our lives. So, you know, we’ll, we’ll surprise our team and take them all out to dinner, we’ve had opportunities to really help some underprivileged kids have some pretty incredible experiences through our generosity. And it’s just like, we’re so happy, loving life that we want that to spill over into other people so that they can experience it, as well. So I think Wouldn’t you say generosity spills over?

 

Brandon Tuss  47:04

Absolutely. And also leave them better than you found them. Like, you know, when I go through, I chat up, you know, taxi drivers, I chat up people at the grocery store, I’m always like talking to them. And my daughters. During the pandemic, they really retreated inward, and they really didn’t want to put themselves out there as much anymore. And they would see me having conversations with people, you know, once the pandemic lifted, then they’d be like, I can’t believe he could just talk to people like that, how do you do that? And I am, I’m, I’m an insecure person. But I lead with security, if that makes sense. I try to put myself out there. But I’m also just understanding that I do have some some things that I’m working on behind the scenes, but I will always leave them better when you found them. And in my work, you know, when I was doing customer service, I was answering a lot of emails, I would always the email never died with me was one of my tenants because I would always say even if it was, thank you so much, make it a blessed day. Make it a great day. If they sent back you to I’d be like, hey, right back at you. I would never let the email die with me because I always want to leave people better than when I found them. And I think that along with generosity is a is a big spillover. Yeah, definitely. Definitely generosity, though. I love that you brought that. But I think that’s great.

 

Stephanie Tuss  48:19

Yeah. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  48:20

Love that. Thank you. Yeah, you

 

Kimberly Hoffman  48:21

guys will get along good. I think you speak everyone and anyone.

 

Matthew Hoffman  48:27

I try.

 

Brandon Tuss  48:33

Yes.

 

Matthew Hoffman  48:34

it’s it. Life’s too short not to engage. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  48:37

Yeah. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  48:37

Yeah.

 

Matthew Hoffman  48:37

And find the good in somebody in the opportunity. I love my kids would

 

Kimberly Hoffman  48:43

get embarrassed 

 

Matthew Hoffman  48:44

If a drink or the food came to the table and it was right used to be the restaurant business, they’re like oh, dad, please don’t say no, don’t don’t say no. Because they were so embarrassed when I was gonna say or do and but you know what a good song comes on. I’ll be dancing and get someone to dance with me. And you know, it’s just all that stuff.

 

Brandon Tuss  49:00

Yeah, that’s why Tik Tok so great. You know, I can embarrass myself on Tik Tok. My daughter can film me and go viral with something I do. That’s just weird. Hey, I’m here for it. No I am here for it  like, whatever you need me to do. So it’s great. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  49:13

Well, I I have a fun question for you. 

 

Brandon Tuss  49:14

Alright let it rip. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  49:15

You guys ready?

 

Brandon Tuss  49:15

we’re ready.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  49:16

We’re going to  to go with you first.

 

Brandon Tuss  49:17

 Sounds good. Oh, man, I’m nervous now. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  49:20

If you had to go back in time, and give your unmarried self a piece of advice. What would that advice be?

 

Brandon Tuss  49:30

Oh, wow. Yeah. So it would probably be just understand that you’ll get there. Meaning that there were times when I felt completely incompetent. In my relationship. I didn’t have a lot of relationships. You know, I maybe dated three or four people before I met Steph. So I wasn’t really out there as much. So I think for me just knowing that you’re gonna make mistakes, understand that it’s not a reflection of the kind of person you are because you are a good one. Listen, just know that you can work through them with effective communication. And don’t be too hard on yourself.

 

Stephanie Tuss  50:07

That’s a big one. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

 

Brandon Tuss  50:09

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

 

Stephanie Tuss  50:11

 If you haven’t noticed, he’s very hard on himself.

 

Brandon Tuss  50:13

I’m self deprecating. It’s supposed to be funny.

 

Stephanie Tuss  50:15

I know, you’re  so hard on yourself. Okay, I was trying to think of my answers he was answering. And now with your left me so 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  50:23

Your unmarried self, you’re going back, you’re putting your hands on your shoulders and you’re saying Steph, what do you need to know?

 

Stephanie Tuss  50:38

These questions are always so hard for me. My hands on my shoulders unmarried self, what would it be?

 

Matthew Hoffman  50:50

A watch out? Or, Hey, do this differently? Or think about this? Or don’t think about that, or

 

Stephanie Tuss  50:57

In terms of relationship, I think it would be when people show you who they are, believe them the first time? That’s great. I think that might be and it doesn’t pertain to our relationship, necessarily. But it does pertain to a lot of the relationships that I had early on. But I think that has been that has been a huge life lesson for me, like when people show you who they are, believe them the first time like, I’m like, I was a tragic hope addict, hoping someone would change that I wouldn’t have to have a hard conversation or, you know, giving someone the benefit of the doubt so that I wasn’t uncomfortable about what was going on. So I think that’s it for me, when someone shows you.

 

Stephanie Tuss  51:22

 Hope-ium

 

Matthew Hoffman  51:36

Hope-ium

 

Matthew Hoffman  51:37

Hope-ium has a dangerous drugs. I hope, right? Because you want you to be altruistic and expect the good. So I was going to clarify, but it’s so so to make sure we get it right. So when someone would do or say something in it’s gosh, that really says to me this. You didn’t want to believe that

 

Stephanie Tuss  51:54

 correct.

 

Matthew Hoffman  51:55

You want to say, well, maybe it was something else or 

 

Stephanie Tuss  51:57

Justify it away 

 

Matthew Hoffman  51:58

Another chance sort of Gosh, that’s not who they really are. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  52:00

Right.

 

Matthew Hoffman  52:01

Okay, good. Good.

 

Brandon Tuss  52:03

I think that your future self will probably also say, man, you’re about to hit the jackpot. So buckle up.

 

Stephanie Tuss  52:09

You’re probably right, honey.

 

Brandon Tuss  52:13

Because I know mine would mind. Man, your life’s about to change, pal. This is gonna be some good stuff here. Buckle up, buddy.

 

Matthew Hoffman  52:19

Wait for the goodness because it’s coming. 

 

Brandon Tuss  52:20

That’s right. That’s right. It’s all good all the time. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  52:22

No more hoping.

 

Brandon Tuss  52:23

No more hoping.

 

Stephanie Tuss  52:24

I you know, so I did think of another one. That adversity is not a bad thing. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  52:30

Yeah. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  52:30

That adversity is not a bad thing. 

 

Brandon Tuss  52:32

That’s true.

 

Stephanie Tuss  52:32

 Right. Like you’re not a victim.

 

Brandon Tuss  52:35

You have to go through some adversity, you know, in every relationship 

 

Stephanie Tuss  52:38

That’s how you grow. Yeah.

 

Stephanie Tuss  52:39

For sure. There’s that there’s opportunity and adversity, yes, there is invitation invitation.

 

Brandon Tuss  52:46

New post it note.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  52:47

 That’s why this is so great. Because we learned so much from couples, everybody brings something to the table that we can share with our listeners, and they can take away those pearls. And

 

Matthew Hoffman  52:57

It’s never I mean, there’s there’s themes, but there’s always new stuff. And so you guys have been so gracious to be genuine and open and share with us and our listeners, and we’re so grateful. If people want to learn more about who you are and what you do, where should they go? What’s the best place for people to find you?

 

Stephanie Tuss  53:15

we have ourselves a fantastic podcast. It’s called “The Successful Mind Podcast” And it’s it’s really about understanding who your being is what’s creating your results. So it’s, it’s really about how you think about things and how that shows up in the world. So it’s a fantastic podcast, it’s at “thesuccessfulmine.com” And then we also have I also have an Instagram account. @StephTuss, you’re currently not on social.

 

Brandon Tuss  53:42

I am not I took a hiatus from social media right before the last election. So I’m really not out there. But I would definitely have people go to “thesuccessfulindpodcast.com” Check that out. Steph’s, you know, on there. The gentleman we work with David is on there. I’m on there. Yeah, have some that add some lightness to the conversation. It is a lot of fun. We’re getting a lot of really good results from that. But I would definitely do that. And in the company where we work for is called “Life is Now” which I think is a perfect segue into what it is that we’re trying to do. We’re just trying to help people become the best versions of theselves and whether that means they’re running their own business or becoming you know, you know, entrepreneurs leaving corporate world whatever it might be, we just want to help as many people as possible we got a big mission. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  54:24

Yeah, we do.

 

Brandon Tuss  54:24

Big mission

 

Matthew Hoffman  54:25

 Sounds like and you’ve been mixing it up and doing a lot of successful things and a lot of friends and we’re grateful that you took time out of your day to come spend some time with us 

 

Stephanie Tuss  54:33

Super fun. 

 

Matthew Hoffman  54:34

and share. So thank you you on so many levels. Our first live interview in our new studio our first time together doing it we It has been over a year since we’ve been in the studio like this. So we’re grateful. We’ve done a lot of remote stuff, but it’s so much more fun to be sitting across the table from great people. So thank you for that.

 

Brandon Tuss  54:56

Thank you for this opportunity. I mean what you two are doing I’ve listened to some of your back catalogue of your podcasts over the course of the last year and you really are making a big impact in people’s lives. And I think it’s just wonderful. So keep putting your message out there keep writing your books and, and emulating your great relationship for others because it really is is a guiding light and I think we can all learn something from it.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  55:15

Thank you. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  55:15

Thank you. You’ve been awesome.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  55:17

I really 

 

Matthew Hoffman  55:18

Appreciate it.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  55:18

Enjoyed it.

 

Kimberly Hoffman  55:18

Yeah, thank you for your vulnerability.

 

Matthew Hoffman  55:19

We’re gonna listen to your podcast and look at more your stuff. And I know we’re gonna connect again soon. Thank you.

 

Brandon Tuss  55:25

Thank you. 

 

Stephanie Tuss  55:25

Thank you. 

 

Kimberly Hoffman  55:27

That’s all we’ve got for this episode of the Kick Ass Couples Podcast. If you liked the content of the show, then you’ll love Matthews newly released book, “Kick Ass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage and Sex.” To receive a digital mini book of quotes and images from the book, all you have to do is rate the show and leave a review on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune into. Then email us a screenshot of your review at “podcast@kickasscouplespodcast.com”  And we’ll get it over to you right away. Until next time, remember happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.