Kickass Couples Podcast

Episode 20: Benedict

By November 3, 2021March 29th, 2022No Comments

TRANSCRIPT

Matthew: (00:01)

Welcome to the kick couples podcast. This is the place where we help committed couples who want to level up their marriage experience, newfound, clarity, hope, and confidence. We’re Matthew and Kim co-host and husband and 

 

Kim: (00:16)

Wife in 26 years together, we’ve seen a lot and never thought it could be a as good as it is right now. We’re here to help you successfully navigate the messy, dirty, and wonderful world of marriage. 

 

Matthew: (00:28)

We believe all couples deserve and are capable of experiencing an extraordinary and fulfilling marriage. And each week we’re bringing you life lessons from real life successful couples to help you grow and strength your 

 

Kim: (00:42)

Relationship. And now let’s dive into today’s episode. 

 

Jason: (00:47)

It helped me to recognize the lack of love and what that can do to a 

 

Therese : (00:51)

Person. Well, when it gets to a steaming point, I’ll just say, you know, we need to stop 

 

Jason: (00:57)

Took my life because I was starting to suppress myself with drugs and drink and alcohol 

 

Therese : (01:02)

That it’s possible to overcome. That it’s possible to 

 

Jason: (01:05)

Change. She has a way of connecting with people and she has a way of reaching inside your soul and tugging on those chords to help you to heal from your past trauma. 

 

Kim: (01:15)

We’ll get started right after this message. If you wanna learn how to experience the best, most fulfilling of your marriage, we invite you to pre-order Matthew’s new book, kick husband, winning at life, marriage, and sex. You can get it@matthewehoffman.com. Again, that’s Matthew hoffman.com. And now back to the show 

 

Matthew: (01:39)

Here with the Benex, we’re so glad to have you here as I today. And so we’re gonna start off with something kind of basic. We ask this of all of our couples, but we’d like to hear from each of you about what makes you and your spouse a kick couple, 

 

Therese : (01:55)

Let you start. Oh, that’s easy. Um, communication and, and the respect and since the, the, of our relationship and when we did fall in love, um, we kept that respect of the love, and we nurture that love even after we got married, cuz there’s a normalcy. Once you get married and then, you know, you don’t respect that love and it kind of starts deteriorating a little bit because you know, you’re married and things become, you know, routine. And we made sure that the love that we do have, and the love that we were nurturing, you know, in the beginning was every day since the time that we’ve met. 

 

Matthew: (02:41)

Beautiful. What a great response. Thank 

 

Jason: (02:44)

You. Yeah. And, and I’ll add to that too. So I think the other thing that makes us a kickass couple is, uh, theres and I, you know, not only, um, own and operate our own agency, it’s called the automation agency. So we’re both the co-owners and co-founders of the company. So we both work within the business. Um, and we both work on our relationship each and every day. And I think that as there mentioned, um, it takes, uh, actively listening. Um, and when situations arise, like whether it be challenges in the relationship or challenges that you’re facing in life, it’s about how you embrace, uh, and not push away from those hardships. Cause I think a lot of, uh, people in, in general, they tend to run from their fears and they tend to run from the things that they, um, haven’t faced before. And one of the things that Teresa and I have always done is we’ve embraced each other’s love and we’ve embraced the hardships, embrace the, um, the beautiful triumphs that we’ve had, but we do it hand in hand and we do it together, not just in our business, but we do it in our personal lives, uh, and that expands into our family. 

 

Jason: (03:50)

Thank you. 

 

Kim: (03:50)

That’s great. Um, we’d love to kind of take you guys back just a little bit now, now that we know what makes you a kick couple, I, we really believe that we’re a product of the people who raised us. So, um, when we look back into our history and we look back into our childhood, we, um, at that time are really formed by, um, those people that, that did raise us. And so I’m curious, and I’ll ask you first, Jason, what did love look like in your family when you were growing up? 

 

Jason: (04:27)

So I’m, I’m glad you asked that , uh, this may get a little bit emotional, but, um, uh, love love was a challenging thing in, in my family. Um, in fact, uh, I had some very, really strong hardships growing up, uh, when I was a child. So, uh, and I didn’t tell anybody about what I went through for nearly 22 years of my life. And in fact, it almost took my life because I was starting to suppress myself with drugs and drinking and alcohol because of the challenges that I went through. And so, uh, from the ages of six to nine years old, I was actually, uh, beaten, molested and raped, uh, by my mother’s boyfriend. And I never told anybody for, uh, 22 years. In fact it wasn’t until I met theres that she’s the one who gave me the confidence and the strength to be able to speak about what happened to me as a child. 

 

Jason: (05:19)

And she was the one who told me, she’s like, it’s not your fault. What you went through, you should have been protected. You should have been loved better. You should have been, uh, in a family that protected you from things like that. And you weren’t. And so that’s a, that’s a deeply rooted question, but, uh, it definitely tugs at the heart, but you know, one of the things that I’m very proud of today is that I can speak about that. And there was a long period of time where I could never speak about it. I couldn’t even think about it. In fact, I had to suppress those emotions and those things that I went through for so many years, because it was just too deep for me to handle. And, uh, Teresa is actually the one who she has a way of connecting with people and she has a way of reaching inside your soul and tugging on those chords to help you to heal from your past trauma. 

 

Jason: (06:04)

So one of the things that I love about our relationship now is that she’s given me the strength to be able to speak about this so that I can actually go out and help others that have gone through this similar thing that I’ve been through because there’s a of kids out there that aren’t saying anything and they’re going through the same situations, uh, and some of them aren’t making out of it. So that’s that I think is, uh, I agree with you that your, your childhood does form you and I wouldn’t change anything that I’ve been through. I think that, uh, the challenges and the hardships that I went through helped me to become a stronger, uh, per today helped me to become a better husband, a better lover. It helped me to recognize the lack of love and what that can do to a person. Thank you 

 

Kim: (06:44)

So much for opening up and being vulnerable with us and with our, for our listeners as well. Because as you said, there are so many children, there are adults even that are out there that are in really, um, tough, similar situations. And, um, for you to be able to share that and to really be able to express where you were then and where you are now because of your relationship with there and because of the love and the genuine respect and, and, you know, she said to you, I see you, I see you. And I love you. Um, so, so thank you for that. Um, Theresa, tell us a little bit about your childhood and how, um, love looked in your family, how you were raised, maybe even how your parents expressed love to each other. What was modeled for you? Um, 

 

Therese : (07:40)

Not a whole lot. um, my dad left my mom, um, from having an affair and my mom gave him another chance and we were all waiting for him at the train station and we watched him pick the other woman. Um, and so with my mom being, it was a lot of love that just wasn’t shown. She wasn’t, my mom was not loved. Um, she was abused as a child, so she didn’t know how to give the love to love us. So it was very lacking. So when I had children, I wanted to make sure I put that link. Yeah, 

 

Jason: (08:20)

We’ve, we’ve both come from very difficult, uh, childhood upbringings, but, you know, I think that as we mentioned, it’s, it’s something that I think connected us as well and bonded us together, you know, and 

 

Therese : (08:34)

That’s why we respect it the way that we redo. Yep. 

 

Matthew: (08:37)

So I I’m impressed with the what’s so amazing to me is to hear two difficult harrowing stories of, of love was, or was not expressed in your past. So tell, help us understand, how did you two, when you two came together and you formed that relationship that you both finally talk about being so strong, how do you, how do you knit that together and how do you, how do you make that, the strength that keeps you going forward? What was it that allowed you guys to, to, uh, make that, that leap together in love? 

 

Therese : (09:12)

Oh, you speak on that one. You’re the one who had the, make the leap . 

 

Jason: (09:17)

So, 

 

Matthew: (09:19)

So your, there you’re saying it was easy for you cause he was so Sue and debonair and right. 

 

Therese : (09:25)

Yeah. It, it was, I had a lot of trust in and I, and like your beautiful wife said that, um, I saw Jason for Jason and when I started learning about his past, I was actually shocked. Um, and how he was living his life because that’s not the person that I’ve ever saw. So it was traumatic for me to go through it, along with him and it was painful, but I’ve always said that if you don’t take hurt with, when you’re trying to pull somebody through, then they’re never gonna make it through curious, were there any 

 

Kim: (10:05)

Positive things that you took from, from those experiences, any positive things that you could bring forward into the relationship that you have now 

 

Therese : (10:14)

That it’s possible to over that it’s possible to change that it’s possible to break those links that it’s possible to watch somebody who was cut off at the knees, learn how to stand up for themselves, um, and watch him get his strength and watch the strength grow. And while that was happening, the trust for each other grew and grew and grew, um, I was, uh, not welcomed by his family, um, because I was helping him. And yeah. 

 

Jason: (10:56)

Yeah. So when, when there and I met, I, like I mentioned, I, I had, uh, gone through some very turbulent times in my life and I was carrying a lot of weight and baggage that I hadn’t shared with anybody yet. And so literally weeks before, you know, I’m on my knees, like praying to God saying, please help me, please, please bring me somebody that’s gonna help me to overcome the challenges that I’m facing right now. Cause I know I can’t do it alone. Um, and so when theres and I met, um, it was, it was just one, a miracle in itself that we crossed each other’s past. Um, and, um, the, the other thing that I think that, um, it maybe isn’t visible is that there, and I also have a fairly large age gap, uh, age gap between the two of us Theresa’s 17 years older than I am. 

 

Jason: (11:46)

So when she says that my family wasn’t welcoming to her, I think a lot of it played a part in the fact that my family saw a big age difference and they didn’t see the love and the support that this woman is providing to me. But you also have to think about what, what my family had allowed to happen to me as a child. You have to take that into consideration when you think about that too, because this is a mother and a father not to taking ownership and accepting the things that they allowed to happen to their child. And that could be a very difficult thing for any mother or any father to hear. And so while I think it’s less about there and, and the age difference, I think it’s also about the fact that theres was the one who allowed me to open up and to recognize the pain in the hurt didn’t belong and, and it needed to go and it needed to be spoken about, um, and, and, uh, brought to the surface to the people who did have that responsibility. And I think that’s what ultimately severed, uh, a relationship between, you know, my mother and father with our 

 

Therese : (12:49)

Relationship. And I was the one who was having the difficulties with the aids different. Yeah. 

 

Jason: (12:54)

There always struggled with the age difference. I, I didn’t really struggle with that, so. 

 

Therese : (13:00)

Okay. Theresa I’m, I’m, I’m the older, I’m the older woman in this relationship too nice. yeah. 

 

Matthew: (13:05)

I, I, I played a big time, but I, I, I’m gonna me Copa. I’m gonna come clean. She’s three days older than me. Oh, okay. There you go. And I tell everybody guys, I’m married an older woman, she’s a Cougar. She robbed a cradle and she rolls her eyes and just laughs and you know, anyway, but, uh, 

 

Therese : (13:24)

My kids were proud of me. yeah, there you 

 

Matthew: (13:27)

Go. That’s great. Well, it’s interesting because I think what you guys have so beautifully talked about leads us right into the, the, the pillars that we have in our, in the lens that we look through and kind of examine and talk about relationships. The first three are what we call the three CS and they’re there on purpose because they’re foundational and the first one is commitment. And I think you all beautifully told what commitment looks like, but I’d love to see, uh, and hear from each of you, uh, what other ways commitment shows up in your relationship or in your business or in the life that you two share together. Talk to me more about that thread of commitment and how you see it. 

 

Therese : (14:08)

To me, the commitment is, is Jason and I have always, um, been there for each other and no matter how hard it got when we were going through what we were going through with his family, no matter how hard it got with the, um, adjustments of life and, and growing, um, and overcoming things outside of our marriage and overcoming things within our marriage. And whenever, if he was ever in a hard time, I would pick him up and I would inspire him and I would give him the strength. And when I was down, he would do the same thing for me. And, and we would do that for, um, members of the family as well. But it it’s like we just, the commitment is to commit, to never ever take for granted of the relationship that we have. And the love that is being given our love is like we’re putting in each other’s hands and we’re asking those hands to make sure that love is safe and taken care of. 

 

Therese : (15:14)

And, and not just, you know, you give the love and it’s put down somewhere and it collects dust and it’s not nurtured and we want to nurture it. We want to let each person express. If there is a situation where the stress is coming with the business us, you know, and I sit him down and I explain what, how it’s affecting me, um, and how he’s handling the stress. I help him overcome the stress. It’s a commitment to pull each other through all the hardships, all the happy times, the relation ship, the bonding, we have a bond that no matter what happens, that the bond will not break. 

 

Jason: (15:58)

Yeah. And I’ll add to that too. I think the other thing that, um, you know, commitment is, is woven into every decision we make. It’s it’s in every breath that you take and every word that you speak because a single word can break commitments. Yep. Um, a single word can, uh, break trust, you know? And so the commitment is, is in, it’s literally combined, uh, in there I thought process and everything we do. So we, 

 

Therese : (16:25)

And the things that we say to each other, the things that we 

 

Jason: (16:27)

Say that we, we, you know, the, how we treat each other, how we speak to one, another commitment goes very deep into a relationship for us. And, um, I think that it’s, it’s definitely a, a great pillar to have in any relationship. And you have to have commitment, cuz if you don’t have commitment, you don’t have trust. You know? And, 

 

Therese : (16:48)

And I think also too, that, um, people also need to acknowledge that commitment. Is this not like, oh, I’m gonna commit to you. I’m not gonna cheat on you. And to us, it goes way beyond that, you know, everything that you have on your pillars, you know, all the way to number 13 is involved. And when I read those, it’s like, these guys are great, you know, and we appreciate what you were doing, how you’re doing it and, and, and bringing these podcasts to help other relationships understand that there’s more to, than these words that we see, it’s a depth, it’s a motion, it’s the strength. It’s, you know, the compassion and, and ther behind it. I liken it to 

 

Kim: (17:35)

Like learning and speaking a whole new language. Right. Mm-hmm , we are really learning these ways of, um, just the way we communicate with each other, the way that we speak to one another. Um, it’s, it’s just so important that we’re conscientious about it. Like you said, it’s just intrinsic it’s every day, every moment. Yes. Um, we’re really aware of how we’re treating each other 

 

Matthew: (18:02)

And I love what you said, Teresa it’s action. It’s not, it’s not conceptual, not just we’re on a page or things we can aspire, but everything, all those pillars that we talk about and that we, and that, you know, are essential, they’re due, you gotta do ’em and it’s not, it’s not just thinking. And that’s how, that’s how they show up in 

 

Therese : (18:22)

Our relationship. You gotta live. Yeah. You gotta live them all the time. It’s gotta be a conscious, um, forefront, you know, and we have boundaries from day one, you know, it’s like if we ever get in an argument or words, start flying, there is never, ever, ever any name calling ever, or call, you know, or four letter words or anything to belitle or hurt somebody because you’re in that moment. And you’re, and you’re kind of like losing the strength of keeping your composure, you know, which we all do. So we have boundaries on that. But then after that, when things cool off, you know, and there’s a little time in between to realize that it is okay to walk up to them and take their hands, which we do all the time and apologize and, and say that, you know, you’re sorry, you didn’t mean to hurt your feelings and, you know, and, and that means everything because, you know, the apology is sincere. It’s not saying, I’m sorry, there’s difference between how you speak and the respect that you show them, do you really love them, then apologize like you do. You know, and we treat each other that way every day, every day, we it’s it’s. 

 

Jason: (19:46)

Yeah, we are, we are very detailed to when, when a situation does arise, it’s important for, you know, to express to your spouse, why a situation may have come up, like why you’re stressed or why you’re overwhelmed, or what have may have caused the fight and the argument. It may had nothing to do with either of us, but right. You know, when you come across that challenge and you come across that fight, it’s easy to walk away and just like, you know, uh, take a step back from it. But what Teresa and I do is we grab each other’s hands and we look into each other’s eyes and we, you know, we talk about it and we say, Hey, I’m sorry. Here’s, here’s what, you know, caused this reaction. And I think that’s, uh, just another layer to, to build on commitment and build on your relationship is how you respond to challenging situations. 

 

Therese : (20:30)

And there’s never ever a, 

 

Matthew: (20:32)

When it comes to creating a kick marriage, do you ever wonder how you’re doing? We found that there are 13 key components that make up a thriving relationship, which is why we’ve created the kick assessment in this powerful free tool. You’ll learn what they are and how you and your spouse are ranking in each one. And you’ll get recommendations that will help you start improving today, get your results, simply visit Matthew E hoffman.com. Again, that’s Matthew E hoffman.com. Time to start kicking. Let’s go 

 

Kim: (21:10)

Well that, you know, that leads us right into our, our even second and third, you kind of touched on ’em both pillars of the three CS. Um, first was commitment. The NEX is communication and conflict resolution. And you guys just pretty much, um, talked about both of, uh, is there, is there an example that you can give our listeners of how you resolve conflict? Maybe you guys have just had a really hot topic and things got heated up. Um, tell us what you do to sort of get back to, uh, your heart rates, reducing a little bit, um, you know, maybe you’ve had a cooling off period, but tell us how it works in your relationship when you’ve had 

 

Therese : (21:54)

Conflict. Well, when it gets to a steaming point, I’ll just say, you know, we need to stop because otherwise we’re gonna end up hurting each other and we’re not, and then we’re gonna regret it because we not, you’re not gonna meet it. I, you know, I, I believe in no matter what, um, situation that you are in or what degree of frustration that you’re in. Um, I have a I’m, I’m good at biting my lip because it’s not worth hurting the person that you love because of that moment. So, um, it could be a little different sometimes because Jason carries a lot more stress in, in with the, with the business than I do. But that’s where I just sit him down and it’s like, look, you know, we need to do this. If I don’t tell you this, you’re not gonna know how it’s affecting me. You know? And it’s, so I will tell, I will tell him, it’s like, it’s making me feel less of a person it’s making me feel like you’re, you know, like, you know, I’m not equal, you know, and we’ll go down and it’s like, and if I don’t and it’s, there’s sometimes, you know, like the last time it’s like, you can tell that was really hard for him to hear, but I told him if I, if I don’t tell you, you’re not gonna know, and then it’s not gonna get 

 

Jason: (23:13)

Fixed. Yeah. And I think to, to add to that too, is, you know, you, you have to have that open communication. Yes. And at the very core of it, there has to be a respect to not want to hurt the other person’s feelings and emotions and that’s 

 

Therese : (23:26)

Respect to listen. Yeah. And the respect, the hair. Yeah. 

 

Jason: (23:30)

And to act on, you know, a lot of people can hear and hear that they may have made a mistake, or they may have said something that hurt somebody’s feelings, but it’s the, it’s how you respond and take that information and how you treat that person thereafter. And that’s something that there, and I have built on over the 12 years that we’ve been married is we’ve taken every situation and every hardship and every challenge, and we’ve held each other’s hands through it. And we had the apologies when the apologies were due. Yeah. 

 

Therese : (23:57)

Yeah. And then, and the tears and the looking in each other eyes and reconnecting that love, that’s what brings it back. That’s where you honor the love. That’s where you honor the person that you’re loving, you know, and that’s, and that’s hard for a lot of couples to do, you know, because they’re, they’re not used to nurturing a love to such a degree that, that some people hold it, you know, because it is, is important to take those hands. And Jason does all the time. He’ll take my hands and look at my eyes and say, what’s going on apologize, cuz it has nothing to do with me and, and say, you know, it, you know, it’s, I’m sorry that it’s being taken out on you because you know, we’re in a pandemic where, you know, we work in our home. Who else is there? You know? 

 

Therese : (24:50)

So, and I tell, and, and I understand that and all, so we work out a system. It’s like, if you need to vent, tell me you need to vent and just come and vent, you know, instead of lashing out because you’re not venting, you know? So we work out systems for certain situations to that way. It, it helps protect each other from hurting each other. We just come up with these routines, you know, to, to make this, you know, a, a journey and a marriage that is a blessing every day. And, and we cherish it and we honor it and we don’t ever take it for granted. 

 

Matthew: (25:32)

Sure. I love some of the things I wanna go back a little bit because I loved when you earlier, you said you were talking about some of the rules that you guys kind of, the ground rules that you have. And one of ’em was no four letter words. You’re not gonna be little or put some I’d love to hear. Do you guys have any other rules or practices that you try to use or, or you agreements you guys have come to and how you’re gonna relate and work and, and with each other? 

 

Jason: (25:57)

I don’t think we’ve ever think so. Yeah. Not beyond that. I think it boils down to just the, the love and respect that we have for one another and wanting to make sure that the other person is feeling equal, making sure the other person is feeling the love and the care and, and the thought behind it. I think sometimes it just boils down to you’re being thought of, you know, I like, yep. So 

 

Therese : (26:17)

A thought means everything. Yeah. It’s something that, you know, might say, well, it’s just thought a thought is priceless to have somebody know that you’re actually thinking of them when I know Jason’s be having a really difficult day, I’ll say, okay, so do you need anything? And then we come up with a plan. Okay. If you need anything, text me, even though our offices are like side by side, but text me, let me know, you know, so we plan it out to help make his day more pleasant. So, you know, so it has a better outcome. 

 

Kim: (26:51)

In addition to the three CS that we just talked about, you have a list of the, uh, additional pillars in front of you. We have 13 pillars of success that we’ve come up with. Uh, um, and I’m just curious, I’m gonna ask, um, you there first, what other pillar stands out most to you? That’s on this list and why, why is that pillar particularly important to you? 

 

Therese : (27:19)

You, you have a lot of good ones. Good ones. Yeah. Um, I’m gonna say selflessness, you know, it’s, it’s like sometimes you just, you know, that’s important. That’s how you give and take, you know, it’s, it’s not always thinking, well, I want this, what about me? It’s always, you know, it’s like, what can I do for you? What can, you know, the sacrifices that you give in a, in a relationship, whether it’s a, you know, marriage partners, uh, friendships, um, brothers and sisters, I mean, you know, you always the sacrifice and being selfless. It’s such a, just an amazing, beautiful thing and such a gift to give somebody. And, you know, it’s, it’s so valuable to show people that, you know, it’s like, it’s not about receiving, it’s about giving it’s about you, you know, showing that, you know, you just sacrificed, like, you know what we went through, you know, it it’s like I came out here to help my sister. Um, and I, I sacrificed being away from my kids, you, you know, um, to come out here to help her. And so, and we’re big time family people. So it’s like the selflessness is shows that you’re not greedy. You’re not, um, have a life of ego that it’s, you know, that it has to be all about you. It’s not value for value relationships. It’s, it’s just about, you know, giving kindness, compassion, um, that, to me, that lies behind that word, um, that that can change somebody’s life. Yeah. That’s 

 

Kim: (29:23)

Powerful. Theres. And that speaks to your heart. Um, yes, it, they, it means so much when you’re truly selfless and you’re giving to Jason and your family and you expect nothing in return, nothing back, you truly expect nothing in return. Yep. You’re just happy to do it because you can. 

 

Therese : (29:42)

And I just, and I hope that, that it sparks a seed in them, you know, to teach for, to me, to, to show people about love is to love them correctly and to love them beyond what people think, what love is all out. So that way they know, you know, and to be the best example that you can. And to in my eyes, I always try my best every day with my, with my children. So I’m a legacy in their eyes of what I taught them. Mason, what about you? 

 

Kim: (30:19)

Is there a pillar on this list that stands out to you that’s really most important to you or that, that tugs at you a little 

 

Jason: (30:26)

Bit? Yeah. I, I think it’s, it’s gonna be an alignment with what there just said, but it’s servant leadership. I think when you have a servant’s heart and you put everybody else in front of your needs and your wants, um, is the greatest gift that you can give to people in your life, whether it be a friend, a spouse, uh, an uncle, whoever it may be, if you have a servant’s heart and you serve them with the utmost of wanting to give, without wanting to take or receive anything from them. I think that that, uh, transcends many years that that will stay with them. And, and people recognize that true servants, heart, and servants leadership over I’m just in this relationship for me and I’m in it for what I’m gonna get out of it. And that’s something that theres and I’ve never had, uh, in since we’ve started our relationship together. Great 

 

Matthew: (31:17)

Point. Well, you, you both did a wonderful job of sharing with us, what what’s important to you and how you weave it into your relationship and something that Kim and I believe. And I know that you probably will, will both relate to as well, is that, uh, your relationship, uh, your success and the relationship that you have between the two of you spills over into other areas of your life. Kim and I kind of call that spill over thinking. In other words, if the relationship you have is so good, it’s gonna obviously impact to other areas of your life. So I’d love for you each to think about how has your relationship done that for other areas of life? How have you been able to take the goodness that the two of you experienced together and see it manifested in other parts of your life? 

 

Jason: (31:59)

I can, I can speak from that one. I think the first thing that it bleeds into is obviously we have a business, right? And when theres and I started our business, we did it with the foundation of trust, respect, honesty, a lot of the, the pillars that you have, you know, uh, in, in your, um, kick couples nation, um, that is something that has always bled into our business, because if you don’t start a relationship, whether it be through a spouse or, or a business or professional relationship with some of these pillars, like trust, honesty, respect, um, then you’re starting off the business with the wrong mindset and you’re, and it’s not going to succeed. I think one of the things that has allowed us to have the success that we have in our business is that we truly genuinely care about our clients and our customers. 

 

Jason: (32:48)

We care about their success. We care about their goals and their aspirations. And we bleed our hearts into like, and pour our hearts into everything that we do, uh, for our clients. And that just doesn’t go for just our business. But that’s one of the first things for me that it bleeds into because, you know, we’re, we’re working from, you know, sometimes 8:00 AM until 6:00 PM at night. And we’re in constant communication with, you know, our team members, our coaches, our contractors, um, you know, our clients. And if you, you don’t carry that same consistent communication, that genuine feel your, your clients are gonna see it and recognize it. And I think that that’s something that, uh, attracts a lot of clients to us. And the automation agency is that we genuinely care and we, we don’t just live this life and our personal life. And then when we walk outside the door, we’re completely of different people. You, we are literally the type of people that will take the shirt off of our backs and give it to you if you’re cold, or if you need warmth or shelter, that’s, that’s the type of people that we are. And we do that in our business as well. 

 

Kim: (33:52)

You’re beautiful people, and we’re so grateful that, um, you’re sharing all these great pearls with us. So thank you. Um, I have, I have a, another question and I’m gonna start with you, um, there, if there was one piece of advice that you could give to yourself before you were married, what would it be? So you’re giving advice to your unmarried self. If you could think of one thing that you would tell yourself, what would that be? 

 

Therese : (34:26)

Don’t wait so long to stand up for yourself. , that’s very easy. I was in a very, um, MAum, abusive situations, you know, and, um, and I settled, you know, which I don’t regret it, but it, it, but it shows me that, you know, it’s like that, that I’m, I was worth waiting for the right person and I was worth loving. But when you growing up in a household that you’re not getting a lot of love to that, you’ll take it where you can find it, and then you’re, you know, and you, and I would tell myself to be a little more cautious of then of whether it was, was real or whether it was a convenient. So, yeah, that’s what I would tell my myself as to have a little more respect for myself. 

 

Kim: (35:26)

Thank you. How about you, Jason? What, what piece of advice would you give yourself your unmarried self? 

 

Jason: (35:34)

Um, I think it stems primarily from, um, the fact that I held and carried so much within, and I didn’t, I didn’t have the strength and the confidence to be able to speak about the things that I had went through, but that I think is what is so beautiful about theres and her gift and, and her abilities that she has. Um, and, and for me, had I not met theres, I think I still would’ve been in a dire situation where I was challenged because I didn’t have the right person, the right mentor, right. Somebody who actually showed me and cared that what I was going through was, was not the normalcy and it didn’t belong to me. And so I think that to answer your question in short, it would’ve been to try and release that information sooner and try and release what I had. I had endured sooner so that I didn’t have to live through so many more years of trauma. And I didn’t have to wait later in life to finally get the relief and to, to see clear. Um, and that, that would be the advice that I would’ve gave to myself. 

 

Matthew: (36:38)

You guys have done a, a wonderful job of being, uh, open and sharing with us from your soul and your experience. And it’s undoubtedly gonna bless those that are listening with us today. We, as we kind of come to a close of the, the, the main part of our interview, we do have some other stuff to talk to you about, but we’d like to know where can we find you and, you know, tell us about your business there. I see a copy of that. Is that your book right there that you, that you wrote yeah. Yes it is. And so we’d love to share with our listeners, if they wanna learn more about you or what you do, where’s the best place for them to find you there 

 

Jason: (37:12)

Benedict.com is her website or, 

 

Therese : (37:14)

Or Facebook. They can find me on Facebook. Yeah. Under trace Benedict. Yeah. 

 

Jason: (37:20)

Um, but her book is also called days, go by not love. It’s also on number one, best selling, uh, book on Amazon. 

 

Therese : (37:28)

Or they can go to my email. They can write me through my email. Yeah. 

 

Jason: (37:31)

So if they go to there benedict.com, you can contact there through there, um, and submit information. But, uh, yeah. Trace Reese is, is a number one best selling author. She’s also a, uh, clairvoyant and medium. So she’s, she’s been, uh, you know, she’s had the gifts since she was a child. So I’ll let you speak to that. Yeah. I mean, you, well, 

 

Therese : (37:52)

That’s a that’s. Okay. It’s I didn’t expect that to come up, but it it’s like it’s, that’s why I’ve always, I always knew that there was, uh, something special about me when I was, uh, a, a young young child. And I just always, always knew that I was here to help people. I just couldn’t figure out how, and when I was, um, gosh, I was gosh, 11, 12. Um, I used to think of how I was supposed to be, I wanted to be an EMT. I wanted to be, um, a nurse. I wanted to, you know, I was thinking all these ways that I was supposed to help people. But at the same time, I knew that’s not the way that I was supposed to help people. Um, so, um, later on in life, I just, I, I thought that I was doing everything. Everybody else had the ability to do and feel people, um, what they were going through. 

 

Therese : (38:52)

I always, you know, it just feeling your own energy. I used to lay in bed all the time and just feel my energy and close my eyes and, you know, knew who to hang out with knew, you know? Yeah. While I was at school, but I always felt, um, kind of like put to the side while I was in school. I always felt like, like, I just didn’t belong that that’s not where, you know, I just wasn’t on the popular side. And I wasn’t, it was just always, I always felt separate from some way somehow. And it was just, um, something that I didn’t quite stand while I was growing up. So I, and I finally learned, you know, um, by asking questions, it’s like, don’t you feel what I’m feeling? I can feel that you’re doing this and this and this and this don’t you feel what I’m feeling? And it would go, no. And that’s when I start realizing it’s like, oh, well, so , so it was a process, but it’s like, but I was always somebody that always felt really deep in the core that I could love the world. And I would always have more love to give. So it was just, I just love loving people. I don’t know how else to put it. 

 

Matthew: (40:19)

That’s a wonderful gift. Yeah. And the fact that you’re able to, to share it with others and write about it, uh, is, is, is a wonderful gift to everybody else that, that you come into contact with. 

 

Therese : (40:30)

Yeah. It’s, it’s like, and I think that’s one reason why I don’t, that we try so hard not to hurt each other is cuz nobody likes pain. You know? So if we don’t like pain, why are we so willing to give it to others? So it it’s. So that’s also important to me. So I always love talking about these things. I always love writing about these things, um, teaching about these, about these situations, because to bring such a clarity to people it’s like, why are, you know, you know, who, you know, why would you think that you have, you know, the okay and the permission to scar somebody else’s heart for the rest of their life, you know, what makes you think that that’s okay. You know, and it’s, and I just, sometimes it’s hard for me to comprehend how somebody can actually do that to somebody else’s, you know, life because it affects them the rest of their life. And they battle that for the rest of their life and to okay. Doing that to somebody’s life. I just, it just boggles my mind. 

 

Jason: (41:40)

And I think too, I want to add to theres cuz she’s a very humble person and a very modest person. So she, she doesn’t really speak too much about herself and her abilities. So I think as her husband, you know, having met and having cha she literally changed my life. And so I think, you know, for your listeners, one thing that, you know, I would recommend to them is that, you know, if they’re feeling any form of, you know, selflessness, um, or they’re feeling self-doubt and, and self-worth, um, Therese has the ability to truly to connect with any individual and to help, to uncover and identify the things that are causing the pain and the things that are causing issues and to help you to work through these situations. And that’s what I’ve loved about her from the very day one is I fell in love with her gift and her ability and the way that she treats people, you can feel the difference when you speak with her and you connect with her one on one, and even in an intimate relationship with her, I I’ve always felt that there has been amazingly different in so many different directions that, um, it, it impacted my life in such a way that I won’t ever forget the, the changes in the transformation that I’ve been through with her. 

 

Jason: (42:54)

That’s again, I think what makes us a kick couple 

 

Kim: (42:57)

Guys are a beautiful couple. You are, you’re truly a beautiful couple. And thank you. Um, I, I’m so grateful that you, um, that you agreed to be on this podcast because I think our listeners really gleaned a lot from this episode. Um, you guys really showed up today and you were, are vulnerable and open and you really let us, um, see your souls. And we’re really grateful for that. And we appreciate that. So 

 

Jason: (43:23)

Thank you. Thank you for having us. 

 

Matthew: (43:25)

Thank you for being with us today, guys. We’re so grateful. 

 

Kim: (43:28)

That’s all we’ve got for this episode of the kick couples podcast. If you like the content of this show, you’ll love my Matthews. Upcoming book, kick husband, winning at life marriage insects to receive a digital mini book of quotes and images from the book. All you have to do is rate this show and leave a review and apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune in to listen. Then email us a screenshot of your review at podcast at kick couples, podcast.com. And we’ll get it over to you right away 

 

Matthew: (44:03)

Until next time. Remember happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.