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How Our Love Languages & History Impact our Relationship

By September 21, 2022No Comments

We’d like to introduce you to the shining duo Marie-Claire and Nick Cates. This dynamic passion-driven couple worked their way to becoming two incredibly successful entrepreneurs and one kickass couple!

As a teenager, Marie-Claire immigrated to the US from Haiti. She’s now the founder and CEO of a multimillion-dollar beauty business called Acne Experts Skincare located in Beverly Hills. She has become a sought-after beauty and lifestyle expert on social media. Her proudest accomplishment was being able to provide her son with the support he needed for stability and life success. Marie has tackled fear and shame firsthand, learning to embrace challenges as stepping stones on the path to an amazing life with her true love, Nick Cates. 

Nick had a dream of becoming an NBA or NFL star, but his teachers identified and nurtured his unique penchant for writing, and his love for storytelling grew which landed him at BT and PBS where his TV career started. He has had many successful production roles from the E Series celebrity homes, to developing specials for A&E, Style, Vibe TV, and E! entertainment. Nick launched the real estate company Showpads and has had a production company called Minefield Productions. Nick continues to thrive as a realtor, real estate investor, developer, and devoted husband. We are pleased to share highlights from our time with this fantastic power couple on the Kickass Couples podcast! 

“We have a lot of fun,” shared Marie-Claire, “I think that makes us a kickass couple.”

This couple embodies an attitude of funness, a spirit of lightness and an easiness with one another.  They’re just two people trying to get through life in the most enjoyable way possible. 

Fun and humor are one of our relationship pillars. When we started Kickass Couples Podcast, we had 13. We interviewed people and they asked us where the fun was. We agree that you’ve got to play together, so we added it as our 14th pillar. There’s enough seriousness in our lives today. If we’re not seeing the good and having fun, it can make life too hard to endure.

We talk a lot in our podcast about each individual’s own, personal history. We really believe that we’re a product of the people who raised us and that we bring a lot of what’s modeled to us in our formative years into our relationships. We first asked Marie Claire what love looked like in her home growing up. 

“I grew up in Haiti, and my parents were quite conservative. I met my dad when I was six years old because when I was born he had a stroke and had to go away to get physical therapy. I physically met him at six years old. My mother is a tough lady. She’s the disciplinarian. When I met my dad at six, he was extremely loving and affectionate,” shared Marie-Claire, “but my parents never showed affection toward each other. In my culture, if you are affectionate or you kiss, it feels like you’re teaching your children to be a little bit loose. I didn’t grow up watching my parents show affection to each other. They never held hands. They never kissed. None of that. Oddly enough, my father was the one who gave me a lot of affection. I can say love to me looks like the love that my father gave me, which is extremely kind and tender – and just easy, easy, easy.”

We next asked Nick, what love looked like in his family. 

“I grew up in a very much, kind of traditional, intact husband and wife, two kids kind of a family in LA. I think the love that I grew up around was enhanced with my paternal grandmother and great-grandmother living very close. They actually, at some point, even lived in our house, lived on the same street, and then also in the same neighborhood. My mother and father were great, attentive parents, and having that additional layer of unconditional kind of love from my grandmother and great grandmother, gave me a sense of safety and nurturing,” said Nick.

This couple came from very different backgrounds and brought different histories to their relationship, but it was evident during our interview that they have a very affectionate relationship and closeness with each other. How do they do it?

Nick credits his wife for being the merchant of affection in their relationship. Her love language is very much about physical touch, quality time, and those types of things. He tends to model more of the steady and stable part of the relationship with acts of service. He typically does things to show that he loves Marie-Claire. He admits that physical touch and words of affirmation aren’t as natural to him, and through being together with his wife, he’s learned how to express those things more deeply and authentically.

It’s fun to understand how two people come from two such different backgrounds, mix it up and come together to figure out what works for them. Nick and Marie-Claire have done a great job of leaning into understanding what their desires and needs are. They also make it a habit of learning from each other. We think that’s a beautiful thing!

We invite you to keep an eye out for things that you can learn from your partner over the next week, and of course,  have fun doing it!!

Until next time. Remember, happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.