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Svetlana Newsome, Kimberly Hoffman, Matthew Hoffman, Jerremy Newsome
Matthew Hoffman 00:00
Welcome back to the Kickass Couples Podcast. We are excited to have a super cool couple with us today. We want to welcome Svetlana and Jerremy Newsome. Welcome to the podcast, guys.
Jerremy Newsome 00:12
Thank you so much, brother.
Svetlana Newsome 00:13
Thank you. It’s so good to be here with you.
Matthew Hoffman 00:15
Glad you could be here. Well, you know, I got the privilege of talking to Jerremy. And as Jerremy with two R’s, which I love J E R R E M Y, I would have guessed wrong and failed the quiz. But it stands his dad was Jerry and Jerry and me his mom. So I think that’s super cool. And I love to hear meaning behind, behind name. So we appreciate you sharing that, and two really cool, diverse people. And I think it’s going to be fun to talk to you all today to see how you manage to come together and make one beautiful relationship. And we always like to start off by asking this question. So Svetlana, I’m going to ask you first and say what do you think makes you and Jerremy a kick ass couple?
Svetlana Newsome 01:01
Our commitment to each other, our big, deep, unconditional love for each other, and most importantly, trust, trust that we have for our family, for each other for their souls that we are for our independent evolution in the world. And that trust of coming together is what makes us so kickass and so unique.
Matthew Hoffman 01:31
Beautiful. Thank you. Jerremy, how about you? What do you think of this question? I don’t know how you follow?
Jerremy Newsome 01:39
Yeah, that’s gonna be tough. So here’s, this is my dream woman. Right? So I wrote her down, like I ordered her from the universe a few years ago. And I sat down with intentionality and said, Okay, if I was going to be perfectly happy, perfectly satiated, if I was really going to be madly, unquestionably, unequivocally, and incandescently in love, who was the woman that would have to be in order to actually create that happiness and create that fulfillment? Here she is.
Matthew Hoffman 02:10
Kimberly Hoffman 02:12
I love that you actually, you know, created this list, and you put in your order, and you got exactly what you wanted.
Jerremy Newsome 02:23
I mean, everything. And it was I mean, we’re talking five pages long, it was a long list, and hers was pretty long, too. And this was done independently of each other. We didn’t
Kimberly Hoffman 02:32
So you both did the same thing?
Jerremy Newsome 02:34
Same exercise a few different months apart. Yeah.
Kimberly Hoffman 02:37
Matthew Hoffman 02:38
Wow, what was the moment like when you guys shared with each share the list? What was that moment like when you exchanged what you had each created of your ideal person to be?
Jerremy Newsome 02:50
I’ll start first. And here’s why mine’s more recent, because I lost it. In the move. We were moving different places. And anyway, I didn’t couldn’t find it. But I had put it an email reminder to myself on I think it was a Valentine’s Day or close to Valentine’s Day, I was like, Hey, listen, if you’re not in relationship, you know, as a reminder, here’s the woman that you should be in a relationship with. So I resend it to myself. Thankfully, I always got things in backup. And so I just read it to her for the first time, like two or three months ago. It was really, really cool. Now fortunately, I have known, she actually teaches a course called limitless creator, which is about proper, you know, the rules to really, truly aligned manifesting. And she shares pretty openly her dream man. And it’s a pretty long, I mean, paragraph. It’s a very, very, very specific, and she probably could memorize it at this point. But yeah, hers was first she’s she read her as I started, I found out that dream man that she wrote probably August or September of 2020, about 6 or 7 months after we started dating. And then she found out I mean, I know I told her I was very specific on what I asked for, but we didn’t read it until just a few months ago.
Kimberly Hoffman 04:10
Matthew Hoffman 04:10
It’s a great exercise.
Kimberly Hoffman 04:12
I love that and it’s a great segue into for me for your histories, right? What you were each like before you came to this union and what how love was modeled for you in your families when you were growing up? I think we bring a lot of that into our relationships. And so Jerremy, what did love look like for you when you were a child in your home?
Jerremy Newsome 04:47
Love was not extremely welcoming in my house. My mom loves a lot and she would always mention it. Love Notes, letters poem. You know, when I would go to school, I should put a little love note in my lunchbox. But my dad had more of a struggle, really expressing his love to my mother expressing his love to other his other children, expressing his love to me, either verbally or physically or any of the really any of the ways spiritually, emotionally. But I knew he loved me, I knew he spent, he spent a lot of time with me. And it was one of those things where once I realized probably in my mid 20s, that the majority of my life, I was seeking his approval, right? I was seeking his love, everything that I was doing was in strife. And then to receive that to pull that in. And we became very complicated when he died when I was 25. And he died from prostate cancer. And so then it became even harder, until I had to figure out how to do that relationally even though he wasn’t here physically anymore, so that led me down a very, let’s just call it spiritual, emotional journey, where I’m doing a lot of deep inner work to try to heal and mend that relationship. And once I did, everything started really, really shifting. And that was some of the big, unique changes for me in my life, but growing up a different happiness, just not love.
Kimberly Hoffman 06:19
And what brought you to the conclusion that, hey, I need to work on this at such sounded like you were in your early 20s. When you really realize what brought you to the conclusion that this is something I need to heal, this is something I need to work on. Because generally, we let those things go and we don’t realize that we have to heal those wounds before we can move on and be in a healthy relationship.
Jerremy Newsome 06:44
Yep. I know the exact day. I mean, it was I was 24. And I had just gone to a Tony Robbins Convention, which is where I met her. So we met the very first time ever 11 years ago, November 4 2012. And that was in Orlando at what’s called a UPW Unleash the Power Within Tony Robbins, the motivational conference. And one of those days he does something called the dickens process, which is essentially it’s a mind map of you going back in the time and fixing a lot of the problems. And I wasn’t aware any of this works, how healing works. I this was my first experience. I thought I was just going there to like jump around and like fist bump and high five people and make money. But he does he sends us through like an emotional journey of healing. And it was in that moment that I realized I had a lot of dark, dark caverns to fill in with love. And ever since I realized that I kind of started going down more and more that journey because I did I just saw it. It was very visual for me. It was very Oh, yeah, I got some problems. I need to fix it.
Kimberly Hoffman 07:48
Sure. How about for you, Svetlana, what? What did How was love modeled in your home when you’re a child?
Svetlana Newsome 07:57
So I was born in Soviet Union, and then fell apart. So love sex money, all of it was pretty major taboo topic wouldn’t talk about. I grew up without a dad. And my mother, she now it finally landed to me that she is truly a source of unconditional love. Of course, I didn’t see it. Then I was a bratty teenager right here. I knew better than her. And we had our own struggles. I definitely, you know, I my myself, my whole life kinda was looking for Father’s love, and for that approval. And so it really came to knowing for me that there was no healthy modeling of love that I got to experience. Growing up, I didn’t see it. I didn’t see it in a friends families. I didn’t see it in social structures. I didn’t have any friends that actually had good families. And I remember recognizing that I actually didn’t know any role models, where a husband and wife were actually happy and fulfilled. And I realized that when I was already in America, I was already in my 20s. And I simply just wanted to find someone who have a happy marriage. Because it was such a rare occasion. But I deeply within my soul believed that it’s possible. And I wanted to have that for myself. And I wanted to learn what is required and I was willing to go through any healing and any growth and any expansion that I needed to go through in order to really cultivate that within myself. Find myself and might choose and create an ideal that I actually never seen in my life.
Kimberly Hoffman 10:09
So how did you learn? And where did you go to learn it if it wasn’t modeled for you, in a mother and a father?
Svetlana Newsome 10:19
So when I first came to states, I remember seeing families and I remember seeing the way men was treating women. And I was like, Oh, my God, I can have that. I saw that equality, I saw that, you know, wanting to help wanted to help the children wanted to help was a child, that was a household. And it was such a foreign concept from you that I was like, wow, that is so cool. Like, I would love an American husband. At that time, like, amazing to have someone to help you with life, not like life depends on you, children depend on your household depend on you. And then you gotta provide, and there was a lot that I grew up seeing. And so very, very, incredibly, so does the divine guidance, I received a coach, a life coach in my life. And at this time, I realized that she was a first true queen, a wise woman that came into my life, I haven’t had an experience with women of such a magnitude before that. And my soul was searching for it in yearning for it. And when she came into my life, I knew that I had to do anything and everything possible to be with her to coach was her because now I understand what I needed. And what I wanted is to calibrate as a woman to her energy. I wanted to see what is possible. And I wanted to have what she had just as the energy of a woman as the grace as the love. And she had five children, and it was a second marriage. But it was so beautiful. And she was so beautiful. So I chose to stick with her.
Matthew Hoffman 12:17
Yeah. Wow, that sounds like a fantastic example of getting what you need when you knew you needed it, and finding a way for it to manifest and come into your experience, not far different from kind of the story that you all each created on your own, about looking for that partnership. And that’s a beautiful demonstration, it kind of leads really into, we have 14 pillars in our platform that we think are all qualities that really need to be present in a relationship for success. And we really tried to focus on the first three that we call the three C’s, and that’s commitment, communication, and conflict resolution. If the commitments there then it shows up and really creates the foundation for everything else to be built on. So Jerremy, I would love to ask you if you could tell me what commitment looks like in your relationship with Svetlana?
Jerremy Newsome 13:18
Commitment for me is journaling the exact perfect word but essentially extreme and honest. Obviously, communication but having, having her field trusts because I’ve shared with her all of my past mistakes, past failed relationships, why they failed and fun fact, they all failed because of me. It was all my fault. So when I am aware of that situation, that issue and that challenge commitment for me is letting her know and letting her feel and her see and be fully aware that she is my everything, right? She is all of my needs. She is the person I care the most about in this world. And her not only hearing it but feeling it and seeing it. So we made a pretty deep arrangement pretty early on our relationship after we got married that I would ask her as often as I can almost every single day. Will you marry me? And if she says no, we get full complete. Alright, cool. Let’s stop and let’s let’s have a conversation. And let’s find out why. Let’s find out why that’s there’s no longer a yes. And I mean, the commitment piece is just if she wants to look through my phone, because she needs that to heal. She needs to look through my emails if she needs to use my computer if she needs to go to my bank account. I have nothing that’s worth hiding at all. Everything is open and she has the keys to my physical safe or my internal or emotional safe. She can open any parts of me and look at it with a flashlight or a Anything else you needs at any point in time? And that commitment to myself is also very easily able to release a lot of fear about hiding or being.
Matthew Hoffman 15:12
Kimberly Hoffman 15:13
Yeah, that’s so well said
Matthew Hoffman 15:15
It is well done. That’s some good gold you just dropped there, Jerremy. And I love your concept of commitment. And I think it’s very personal and specific. And it sounds like it works well for you. How about you, Svetlana, when you think about commitment with your relationship? And Jerremy, what are the concepts or ideas? What does that look like in your thought?
Svetlana Newsome 15:38
The word that really shows up for me strongly is devotion. It is been devotional to him and being devotional to the family. I remember, it was in the beginning of our relationship, we took a trip to La Jolla, California. And he was on a beach and I was meditating. And I would look at him and I had so much love in my heart for this man. And ask God, how do I love him? How do you show him my love? How do I really, really express this love. And I heard so loudly and so clearly. Love him as you love me. And I took it with me, like I worship Him as God. Every day, I look at him as a divinity. I am committed to Him. So devotionally he is he is my, my center. He is my rock, he’s my wall, he is my love. And I also love the word sacrifice. Because the Latin meaning of this word is making something separate. And so I remind myself of the dream that I’ve had in my heart, and I have in my heart, always the dream of the Sacred Family and the sacred union, with my children, with my incredible men. And so the commitment for me personally, what really brings this a light and explosion of it in my heart and in my soul is being devotional to him and worshiping Him.
Matthew Hoffman 17:28
That’s beautiful. That’s wonderful. And it’s interesting. I think in all the couples, we just celebrated our 100th interview. Not too long ago, we turned 100 episodes, we’re grateful for that. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard we’ve interviewed a lot of spiritual people, some Christians, some other faiths. But I haven’t heard somebody say I prayed and asked, how should I love him? And that’s a beautiful, selfless expression of that. So I’m grateful. And thank you for for sharing that.
Kimberly Hoffman 17:57
Yeah, definitely. I want to move into the communication part of our three C’s. Because I feel like it’s what really drives our relationship. When we communicate how we communicate, are we setting aside time to communicate, especially when we’re, you know, busy with children and maybe working? And so are we really committed? Are we really committed to connecting with each other? Svetlana, what is communication look like in your relationship? How do you communicate with Jerremy?
Svetlana Newsome 18:30
So we talk about things all the time, we spend time together, we connect all the time. And when calm when it comes to for me personnel when it comes to a conflict, or something that I might not, or something that is triggering, that my rise up? I always go within first and try to find out. Is it to me and my staff? Or is that actually something that has taken place? But is it something from my past that is triggering, and it has nothing to do with him? Or is it actually something showing up that we can resolve? So I come to the clarity first. Because I believe talking without actually communicating and having clarity for self doesn’t go anywhere, right? Because the result is not going to be what it has to be for the souls to come together even closer and trust even more. So the first communication always comes within myself. And the moment I become very, very clear on what is taking place. Then I come to him and I very lovingly explain how I feel. But I also know and I know in my heart and in my soul, that he loves me so deeply and so full And so completely, that he would never ever do anything to hurt me, never.
Kimberly Hoffman 20:06
Yeah. So your communication, what you’re saying is your communication is safe. It’s very safe, vulnerable, and you’re safe.
Svetlana Newsome 20:13
Kimberly Hoffman 20:16
How about for you, Jerremy, tell me a little bit about how you feel communication works in your relationship?
Jerremy Newsome 20:24
So I’m a dude. Communication is my the biggest weakness that I have. And one of the rules that we’ve put in place, is I’m not allowed to say the word fine. And I’m not allowed to not answer a question. Great example would be, if she asked me a question, I have generally three answers that I can give for me personally. One of them being I know the exact answer let’s talk about at a later time. Or sometimes she might ask, How are you feeling? Which is the scariest question to all men ever? And I have to go, I do not know. But let me get back to you with an answer later tonight. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t know why, if I’m angry, if I’m hungry, if I’m sleepy, I have no clue. That’s fair, because we’re going to go through like 6 or 7 motions I’ve mastered. And I’ll get back to her later. So I always answer, but I don’t brush. And I think for a lot of men, that’s extremely important is to just give women what they want, which is really that open communication, and then letting us letting them know that they’re a priority, and that we care that we just need to figure it out internally. And so I like to mention is a lot of communication, both her and I, we start inward first, try to resolve whatever’s feeling in here, and then we express it outwardly.
Kimberly Hoffman 21:52
I love that you set parameters, that was an end, you know, so long have you said, I need to at least hear you know, one of these three things from you. Right? And it needs to be a full sentence. And I know that we’re gonna come back to it at some point in time, right? You set those boundaries ahead of time. And then that way, she knows that, okay, he’s not just brushing me off. And we are going to talk about this at some point down the road, maybe later, after you had a really nice lunch and you’re feeling less hangry. Or, you know, it could be you’re just tired. I mean, we were I love that you brought that up, because I think it’s really important for our listeners to know that a lot of things affect communication, the way we feel especially right, maybe we are hungry, maybe we’re tired. You know, maybe we just need to have some alone time. But anyway,
Matthew Hoffman 22:42
And I like the fact to know Jerremy, you hit on something that I think a stereotype for men, and I won’t say all men, because I don’t believe it. And I don’t accept it for me. And it doesn’t sound like you accept it for you either is that men struggle in being emotionally available and vulnerable in their communication, as opposed to being tactile, I’ve got it, this is what they need, I only get the bare minimum move on, you know, achieve it, knock it out. And let’s go. When there’s emotion involved, and vulnerability is harder. It’s not fast and quick. And sometimes you’re right, we don’t know, we just know we’re feeling a certain way. We haven’t connected and figure out why, and what what the driver is there. And I’m grateful that you said I do what I need to do. So I can find that true emotion and give her what she’s asking, as opposed to being expedient brushing off doing just enough to be able to move on and do what you want to do. And though that kind of behavior, and that process is so valuable. And I think that people, you know, when the more they hear that men can do that, and whatever they need to do people are, some can respond right away, and some can’t. But it’s critical that you’re and I want to laud you for the fact that you’re taking the time, so that you can not only give her what she needs, but really demonstrate effective and vulnerable communication.
Jerremy Newsome 24:08
I love the word vulnerability too, because there’s so many ways to play it play into it. Because at the same time, I want her to know that I’m her rock, and that I would rip the heart out of a gazelle with my mouth if I had to. So there’s still the standpoint of vulnerability, but if you push me too far, I am a baseless man of men at some point and
Matthew Hoffman 24:32
Jerremy Newsome 24:33
She’s not going to just walk all over me as well and vice versa. So the vulnerability of knowing that I can understand what motions that I have I also don’t need to show her all of them. I can go and sweat it out at the gym with my guys. And I don’t have to bring her that feeling that emotion I can just bring her the real was actually there is all that Yeah, man. I love how you mentioned that that’s not the truth for all men. Men are becoming more aware that we need to share and it’s very healthy to do so.
Matthew Hoffman 25:04
Absolutely. It’s a symbol of strength. And so I’d love to ask the two of you can you think of a time when one of you just screwed up, made a mistake? Or really stepped in it? And how did the two of you confront it and work through it? And what happened?
Jerremy Newsome 25:21
That’s awesome. Which one of mine?
Jerremy Newsome 25:24
Man, I think one of the better ones. I will say this, to her credit, she is aware that my number one need is freedom. Number one, number two that all men, a lot of men, the majority of men have very fragile egos until they get stronger. So she doesn’t criticize me when I do something wrong. The first thought that popped in my head when you asked that question was it was our son’s first birthday party. And, you know, she’s doing the whole party. She’s planning everything. And she gives me one task. She’s like, Alright, go pick up the cake. Here’s the address. So I’m like I got it, I can do this. I go pick up the cake. And it was the wrong one. Now, she could have been mad about it. She could have yelled about it. She could have said You’re so stupid. You’re so dumb. But she laughed because I did get a cake. And she realized that she never told me what type of cake. So it was at a local person’s shop. Right? It was like it was at his house. So it was like I walked in there was no it’s everywhere. Shout out to the guy called the bearded Baker. So I went to his house and just knocked on the door. And he’s like, Oh, you’re here for the birthday cake. I was like, Yep, he gave me a carrot cake. Like make sense. I love carrot cake. I can see why she would get a carrot cake for his birthday. So I love carrot cake. So he takes care of cake. I drive and that was the end of it. And it turns out that wasn’t the right cake.
Svetlana Newsome 27:01
And the gentleman is calling me. He’s like, Hey, your husband picked up the wrong cake. Okay, wonderful. So we just said how to get the right cake.
Jerremy Newsome 27:13
Yeah. And it literally was a super simple solution. But she didn’t criticize me for it. She didn’t say dumb, stupid. She just kind of laughed it off. Because really, it’s a one year old’s birthday party.
Kimberly Hoffman 27:27
Having a knockdown drag out, right?
Svetlana Newsome 27:30
Matthew Hoffman 27:31
I don’t know. I think that that could have been emotionally damaging for him. You know, my parents got me this care to cake on my first birthday was what a nightmare scarred me forever. Look what you guys did to that poor one year old. It’s a great story. It sounds like there’s a lot of understanding there, love understanding. I love it.
Jerremy Newsome 27:51
I love the grace.
Kimberly Hoffman 27:55
Right, that’s exactly right. A lot of grace.
Kimberly Hoffman 28:11
I want to talk about intimacy a little bit. There’s a lot of different kinds of intimacy. But when we’ve been together for a while, you know, we sometimes struggle with or some couples struggle with a lack of intimacy, or maybe some of that intimacy has subsided a little bit. And I’m just curious, how do you keep that intimacy alive? How do you connect with each other? And, you know, how do you make it a priority in your lives.
Svetlana Newsome 28:44
So the intimacy is something that we play with all day long. And it is via we have we are in a playful environment. You know, it keeps in touch in and really, you know, really enjoying each other throughout the day and making sure that we are connected. And I believe to intimacy does. You know, for us, we had to go through a little bit of season when the baby was born and a little bit of us padam. But before we even got into the marriage, we had a conversation about intimacy, commitment to that. We had conversation about how important it is for both of us. What needs to take place? How do we feel seen and loved? And we really do everything in our power to honor that commitment that we created for each other before we even got married.
Jerremy Newsome 29:45
Yeah. I think she brought this to my attention a few years ago that intimacy stands for into me, you see, and it’s that awareness of having fun As the, when you’re out of when you’re at a party, and you’re with your other friends, you can still show each other physical affection, right, you don’t have to be at the other side of the room, I can run up to you and kiss you or I can throw you on my back. Or we can just like touch and play and just have fun, because life should be fun life should be an expression of love. But I will say this, and I think hopefully, that’s okay for your audience. But one thing that I made a commitment to early on before we had a relationship is I cut porn 100% out of my life totally and completely. And that was one of my struggles, personally, right? Being a single male, for the majority of my life, that was a big, big challenge for me. And so when I overcame that, I realized that as a humongous draw nail in a lot of relationships, because if a man feels Oh, whatever, my wife doesn’t pay me attention, right? Now I can just go and get my outlet over here, or vice versa, in certain situations, that’s going to create damage, and that creates hidden resentment, that creates more of a gap. And that’s something that I discussed with her very early on in our relationship, like, date five, kind of thing, like really early was, hey, this is my commitment to you. What’s your thoughts on this? What’s your opinion on it? Because then, anytime I have cravings or desires, I get to express them with her. And I get to talk to them with her, and ignite passion and ignite discussion and ignite intimacy as well.
Kimberly Hoffman 31:32
Yeah, I love that you were an open book about that.
Svetlana Newsome 31:44
That is an area that we are always pouring into, and the area that we are exploring and learning and leaning into. I personally just went through the 12 week container on sex, sacred sexuality, and learning even more about my womanhood, and that energy that is within me and have to share it with my partner. And so it is definitely something that we keep very sacred in our family, it is very important for both of us. And we always we talk about it, we discuss it, and we grow in it.
Kimberly Hoffman 32:27
Yeah. And I appreciate you opening up about that. Because I do think, Jerremy that the pornography issue is so it’s, it’s out there, right. And it’s everyone’s focusing on that. I say everyone, but many men are focusing on that. And it can be divisive in your relationship. And so getting a handle on that, and the fact that you spoke to her about it, and you were open about it, and you’re willing to just really be authentic with her in that regard, and that you’ve been able to continue that authenticity on in the relationship is huge, because that right there will bring you as close as close can be right.
Matthew Hoffman 33:17
Yeah. And the safety, you know, that you can have that discussion is huge, too.
Kimberly Hoffman 33:21
Yeah and she’s not going to go anywhere.
Matthew Hoffman 33:23
I think that’s the number one fear that a lot of men or people who are involved in that addiction use, is they’re concerned that they’re going to be castigated, or torn down because of having that belief. And there is, even in the book, I wrote kick ass hub, and one of the chapters is called no substitutions. And in that chapter, we talked directly about pornography. And when you think about it, if you’re engaging in it, you’re substituting that for the person that you have said, you’re going to do this walk in life with and you’re saying that is either more important, or I’m willing to let it take the place of and, you know, Kim and I have done counseling together, we’ve done a lot of things to strengthen our relationship. And one of the things that the counselor told us, as we were talking about substitutions, and some of the struggles that men have, he said, if you have a need, communicate the need to your wife, so your wife can fulfill it. And that’s a it’s a beautiful statement. And I think it’s a great response to, well, what do I do if or how do I handle it? And you know, the person sitting next to me I’ve been walking with for over 29 years. And you know why I want to do something that’s going to bring us closer together and connect us not put that nail as you said, or that wedge and habit divide us. And so, you know, that’s something that I learned as well. And I’m leaning to to be vulnerable enough to communicate to her all my needs. And, and, and give her the opportunity to be there for me in any of my my needs and and have enough love and respect to handle that the right way. And so thank you for bringing that up. And it’s something that is a lot of people deal with. And I think people would make the claim that younger, you know whether I wouldn’t say, you know, millennials, but younger people seem to be desensitized to it and think that it’s okay. And it’s not that bad. And what’s the big deal? And I think that we’ve we’ve done a lot of work in human trafficking, in helping people that have been victims of that. And you learn that the sex trade, pornography included is just so such a big part of exploiting, there’s no, there’s no innocence in it. And a lot of people get hurt, not not just the ones that are consumers. And so thank you for bringing that up. It’s great to move through that and address because I think a lot of our listeners are thinking, you know, either is an issue or has been or man, how do we handle this? So I want to ask a question, I’m going to ask you guys to submit line one start with you. And I’d like to ask you, if you could go back to your unmarried self, and put your hands on your own shoulders and say, here’s the one thing you need to know. What piece of advice would you give to your unmarried self?
Svetlana Newsome 36:28
Be patient. Just continue with your path. It will all come through for you.
Matthew Hoffman 36:38
Beautiful, how about you Jerremy? What advice would you give your young buck self? One thing that you should know, or were you jumped into marriage? What would that be?
Jerremy Newsome 36:56
I would answer I answer this question a lot the same way. But even in different aspects. I was on a panel about a year ago on stage and they’re asked me like, this was a financial panel. And they were saying, what would you do and your finances differently, and so on and so forth. And a few real estate experts up there with me. And one of the real estate experts said that he would hold more of his properties longer and what and sell them as quickly and so on and so forth? Well, one of the answers that I gave, and the answer to this, too, is heal yourself first. That would be what I would do. Because when I was you know, my mid 20s, early 30s, I thought that it was the relationship that would heal me. So you find the right person, you pour in the right energy, you spend the right time and the right person, and she’ll do all the work and she’ll heal me. But that’s the easier way out. And so if it’s all about the internal journey of understanding where you are and who you are, and how to grow. I realized as much as I love her, I don’t need her in my life in order to heal, I can do that myself. I don’t need my wife to be the person that makes me whole, I can do that all by myself. And now I get to share my wholeness of my completeness with her, which makes it even more better, in my opinion.
Matthew Hoffman 38:16
Kimberly Hoffman 38:18
So what is the one non negotiable self practice that you each do that you have to have for yourself? I’m sure you’d have one of those.
Jerremy Newsome 38:36
Yeah, I’ll let you go first baby.
Svetlana Newsome 38:39
Well for me, it’s simple. It’s meditation. Right? So I absolutely have to meditate to really tap into the light every single day to to have that within me to have the source within me so I can pour into my, you know, into my husband into my children into my work into my clients, and there was some that I do. So that is my non negotiable that is, I always do every single day I tap into divine.
Jerremy Newsome 39:07
Yeah, and the reason I was laughing for me is every single month I have something else it’s popping up from a physical standpoint. So I’ve created monthly challenges for myself, that the non negotiable for me is I have to do hard things. And that’s because the rest of my life is easy. All of my life is so easy, right? My relationship is easy. Money is easy, accomplishments, easy. Love is easy. So I have to choose hard things. And so every single month, or every single quarter, I pick something ridiculous that I have to go do. That’s a non negotiable. I tell her as far in advance as I can. Because it’s usually going to involve me being gone for days or weeks at a time. And it’s usually outside it’s usually some type of very A very hard endurance sport of some kind. A great example would be in January in February, I was training for jump ropes. So I was doing 1000s of jump ropes every day, I was putting my body through and that was hours every day.
Matthew Hoffman 40:13
When you ask that question, it makes me think I would love for you to share. What’s the last hard challenge you did? Or what’s the next?
Jerremy Newsome 40:22
I can do both. I can talk about both. So the next one is an Ironman in Utah, with the iron cowboy. So James Aaron, cowboy Lawrence, he’s the current world record holder for doing 101 arm in a row. So I’ll be doing an Ironman with him in Utah. And then my most recent one was, it was the jump ropes for sure. So there was I was trying to do 14,200 Jump ropes in a day, which pretty much took all day. And that was raising money for charity. So that was that was it sucked. And it was not fun.
Kimberly Hoffman 40:55
Matthew Hoffman 40:56
Kimberly Hoffman 40:56
that’s a hard thing.
Matthew Hoffman 40:57
I can feel the intensity right through the computer here, man. And Svetlana is smiling. So she’s smiling. It must be all good. It must be all good. I love that.
Jerremy Newsome 41:09
He liked that one because I was in the house the whole time. So she was able to see me.
Kimberly Hoffman 41:14
Yes you were close by.
Jerremy Newsome 41:16
outside running. Yep.
Svetlana Newsome 41:19
And when I share an example of my dream man that I created, it’s really example of Jerremy, I have there that he is an athlete. And I had in my mind when I was writing it down that it would be some kind of like, Ironman type of athlete guy. And so when people asked me, How do you do it? How do you support all of his, you know, miles or any other craziest things that he does? I say it’s in my dream, I asked for it. So I support all of it. And I just love.
Matthew Hoffman 41:59
That’s great. Well, you guys have been so wonderful with your time and we have really enjoyed getting to know you a little bit better. Thank you for being so transparent and open and sharing. If people want to know more about you or connect with you or find you where should they go?
Jerremy Newsome 42:21
I think the best place to reach out to my wife, she has a website where she pours in light, love and happiness into the world and most specifically Metaphysical Healing. So her website is thelightfreedom.com. And you can get all a lot of her free meditations and tons of her free courses there. And the second best place is really just reach out to us on social media. We have a really great team that can help us with connecting anybody. We’re both Googleable, I guess is a good word. So if someone ever just like you, Youtube, right, if they Google you, they’ll find your podcasts, all the things that you do. And just like I did, and hopefully this is a shout out to your greatness, Matthew and Kimberly, but I just simply emailed Matthew, and he like he messaged me back that day. And so sometimes it’s just asking, reaching out, it’s connecting. It’s just chatting with people, and remembering that we’re all human. And we just want to have a human experience. So be together with people and reach out. So if you reach out to us, we’ll message you back.
Kimberly Hoffman 43:22
I love it.
Matthew Hoffman 43:23
Yeah, that’s great. Well, thank you. We’ve loved being with you guys today.
Kimberly Hoffman 43:27
It’s been a great interview and you guys have really been open and genuine with us and we really appreciate that a lot of good fruit for our listeners today.
Matthew Hoffman 43:36
Yeah, well done. We enjoyed it. And we look forward to connecting with you guys again very soon.
Jerremy Newsome 43:42
Svetlana Newsome 43:43