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Overcoming Obstacles in a Relationship

By February 28, 2022April 1st, 2022No Comments

Today, we’re recapping an incredible Kickass Couples Podcast episode we did with Trish and Vinnie Biondoletti. They were high school sweethearts and have been married for 37 years! The Biondoletti’s are old friends with Kimberly. She’s known Trish since about Grade 4 and was sorority sisters with her later on in  Key Largo, FL.

We admire Trish and Vinnie because they have a genuine love and appreciation for one another. They support each other. They believe that they’re stronger together. They find a lot of joy in each other and they bring a lot of fun and laughter to their kids and grandkids. 

What’s so cool is that Kim knew them before they started dating when they were 14. Kim had a friendship with Trish at least a couple of years before the love affair really started, but there’s some unique circumstances that we want everybody to be aware of. They got married when he was 18 and she was 17. And within the first year of that marriage, they had their first child. We have kids that are 24 and 21, and we can’t imagine our 21 year old having a three year old right now. It just blows our mind. When you think about the maturity in life circumstances, there were a lot of things stacked against these guys that were gonna make it difficult or maybe even insurmountable. 

It’s incredible that they were able to start off with that commitment and foundation. We talked  about what their family of origin looked like and what love looked like growing up for each of them. Trish had a tough childhood. She lost her dad when she was eight, and then gained a stepfather. He was not kind. Trish talked about how she felt battered down physically and emotionally in that relationship. It was tough, but the bright light   out of that whole experience was Vinnie’s recognition at an early age of the circumstance she was in and how he lovingly supplied what she needed. He really stepped up to the plate early inside of a hostile environment. He came in, and was able to show his love and his commitment. He showed a lot of maturity and strength , which we learned came from his solid upbringing.

He had the complete opposite of what Trish had growing up. He had parents who were married for 52 years. They had family day on Sundays where everybody came together and had dinner. They really enjoyed their family time. His parents modeled love, joy, happiness, and what a successful marriage looked like. This showed Trish what was possible in a marriage and a family, and she wanted all of that too!

One of our favorite things about Trish is that even though she had it tough in her early years, she said she wouldn’t have traded her experience for the world, because it made her the person she is today. She also said it prepared her to be a better wife, a better daughter, a better sister and a better mother. She didn’t make excuses. In spite of those circumstances, she chose to rise up and to use the bad stuff as fuel to create the good for herself and her family. She has been triumphant in taking those difficulties and turning them into gold. They had a great example from Vinny’s family. Trish didn’t want to recreate what happened to her, she wanted to make sure her kids experienced a  different reality. 

We moved onto the topic of communication and they both agreed that if you’re secure in your relationship, then you can talk about anything. If the commitment is strong, it creates a safety net. It’s like the safety net under a trapeze artist. If you know there’s a net there, then you’re not afraid of trying stuff and maybe falling because it’s not gonna kill you and take you out. 

All things can be brought up in a strong relationship because you don’t want to bury it or try to make it go away. You have to be able to bring stuff up, talk about it and be secure with each other. The two of them communicate well. They make sure that they’re modeling good communication for their kids and setting them up for success too. 

They were really young when they married and Vinny was trying to establish a fishing charter business. His work was demanding. It meant that he had to spend most early mornings,  daytime, and sometimes evenings, away from the family. And so their time together was just snippets of time, maybe throughout the day in between charters. They created some opportunities for the kids to remember what he looks like, because they knew it was really important to have connectivity with your children. 

One of the things that they did is spend time together in the carpool line. Vinny would come home from work and sit in the car in the carpool line with her. This is where they could talk to each other. The kids would get in the car, and then he would be able to spend time with them too during the drive, and maybe at home for a little while before he would go back out again.

Trish would also bring them to the docks to see him when he would be coming in from a charter. Before going out on another charter, the kids would have a little bit of time to see him. They really carved out opportunities and time to spend with each other and the kids. 

The strong communication this couple has, is largely due to Vinnie’s incredible sensitivity to Trish’s needs. He knew that she grew up in a volatile, hostile, and not so positive environment with a lot of yelling and screaming (and maybe some words that weren’t quite loving and kind). He knows that she can’t handle that. He doesn’t want her to have to experience it. 

He’s sensitive to her triggers from her childhood. He’s aware of her reality, and she’s aware of his obligation to his work, and they lovingly navigate that to give to the other person. They respond to each other in a way that is supportive and encouraging. 

Vinnie shared during our interview that Trish puts everyone else first, including family, friends, her community. She is a servant leader, and that has motivated him. He’s learned a lot from watching her serve others. A lot of men think that they’re the breadwinner and that’s their  contribution to the family. It’s an important one, but don’t forget your spouse works as well. Whether they work in the home or outside the home, they have trials, tribulations, challenges, and stresses just like you. Vinny recognizes that. Even when he’s had a hard day at work in the hot sun, he comes home and contributes. Whether it’s cooking dinner, doing something for Trish or supporting her, he knows that his job doesn’t stop when his work day for his career is over. He steps up and he owns it. 

This spills over to his customers. When his wife would come with the kids to the dock to see him between charters, his clients would see what a sweet family they were and that they were  getting time together. Even though he was working hard and there for his clients, his clients were benefiting from the strength and the love they saw in his relationship with his spouse and his children. His customers became interested in his family. They wanted to know what he’s doing, what the boys were up to, and how Trish was doing. That’s a really big testament to them and speaks to the success of their marriage. 

We’re so grateful to have been able to share the story of Trish and Vinnie’s marriage with you. Together for 37 years, married at a super young age, and had a child right away shows their commitment and the power of their love to overcome all. We hope they have inspired you as much as they’ve inspired us!

Until next time. Remember, happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.

 

Watch Trish and Vinnie’s recap podcast episode here