Why Are Financial Issues So Challenging in Relationships?
On a recent episode of the Kickass Couples Podcast, we assembled an incredible panel of financial experts to take a look at answering why financial issues are so tough to handle in our relationships.
We had these incredible experts on the podcast:
- Shannon Weinstein, a fractional CFO with a passion for helping couples achieve their financial dreams;
- Aaron Thomas, an expert in family law and founder of prenups.com;
- and Tim Scannell, a seasoned wealth manager with over three decades of experience.
Why are financial issues so difficult in relationships and why do they cause so much conflict?
Financial matters are inherently complex, and discussing them with a partner adds an extra layer of intimacy. Money often brings insecurities and fears to the forefront. Everyone has a unique money story, which can be like carrying baggage into a relationship. People have different associations with money, whether it’s seen as a hindrance or a tool. Sometimes it feels like speaking different languages when you’re trying to reach the same financial goals.
Money is a taboo topic in society, and it’s tough to broach. People avoid discussing financial issues because it doesn’t feel romantic or sexy. This lack of transparency leads to assumptions and unspoken expectations, creating imbalances and inequities in the relationship.
Communication is key. Couples often come to the table with different money personalities and backgrounds. Learning how each person thinks about and approaches money is crucial. Conflict resolution is a vital skill, but people rarely think about how to resolve financial conflicts until they’re in the midst of one.
How should couples start these important financial conversations?
Asking questions about each other’s philosophy of money can be a great way to start. Understanding your partner’s financial personality is essential. How did they view and relate to money and debt as they were growing up? Are they comfortable with debt,and, if so, how much? Don’t wait until problems arise; have these conversations while you’re both clear-headed and happy.
You could also try an imaginative approach, somewhat like a prenup. Sharon mentioned that she and her husband had a humorous, hypothetical discussion about all the ridiculous ways our finances could go wrong. It allowed them to address potential issues in a lighthearted way, taking the power away from these hypothetical situations and making it easier to discuss them.
Preparing a prenup or a postnup can be a constructive way to initiate these discussions. It requires full disclosure of assets, debts, and incomes, which can be eye-opening for couples. Transparency is crucial, and the process can help couples understand each other’s financial situations better.
Defining Financial Success
Financial success is about achieving your life goals while aligning them with your partner’s, family’s, and business’s goals. It’s not just about money; it’s about what money allows you to do. Success is individualized and can range from sending your child to a private school, taking more vacations, or simply working fewer hours.
True success lies in understanding the ‘why’ behind your financial goals. It’s about creating a future that allows you to enjoy life with your partner and family.
Empowered individuals learn to master their financial future. It’s about using money as a tool to accomplish personal and shared goals, whether that’s securing your retirement, buying a dream vacation home, or spending quality time with loved ones.
The Final Word
In relationships, financial matters are intimate and often challenging to navigate. By starting conversations early, maintaining transparency, and understanding each other’s financial personalities, couples can build a solid foundation for financial success. Success is not just about numbers; it’s about putting money to work for you so it helps you achieve your shared dreams..
Join us on this episode of the Kickass Couples Podcast as we explore ways to build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
Until next time. Remember, happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.