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Should You Keep in Touch with Your Ex?

By November 1, 2023No Comments

Should you keep in touch with your ex? For men, women, and couples alike, the issue of maintaining connections with former partners can be a delicate one. While there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer, let’s dive into the nuances of this matter and explore the various factors to consider.


1. The Importance of Closure

Closure is a fundamental aspect of any break-up. It’s that emotional resolution we seek to find when a relationship ends. Keeping in touch with an ex can sometimes help achieve closure, particularly if the split was amicable. Conversations that address the reasons for parting ways, express forgiveness, and provide an opportunity to express gratitude for the good times can be healing.

However, it’s important to differentiate between finding closure and reopening old wounds or desiring to reconnect to something that no longer exists. If keeping in touch leads to revisiting past arguments or reigniting conflicts, it might be counterproductive. Men, in particular, should evaluate whether their interactions with an ex bring them peace and closure,  prolong emotional turmoil, or send a mixed signal about a desire for what was.


2. The Jealousy Factor

Jealousy is a common human emotion, and it can sneak its way into the most stable of relationships. If you or your current partner feel uncomfortable or threatened by  continued communication with an ex, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation about your intentions. Mutual respect and understanding are key and a willingness to honor your partner’s needs through demonstrative action.

When dealing with jealousy, it’s worth considering how you’d feel if the tables were turned. Would you be comfortable with your partner maintaining contact with their former partners? Understanding the principle of reciprocity can help shed light on whether your communication with an ex is appropriate.


3. Emotional Boundaries

Establishing emotional boundaries is crucial in any relationship. When it comes to exes, it’s essential to discern between staying friends and crossing the line into emotional infidelity. Men, just like women, can sometimes find themselves in a gray area where emotional connections blur the lines of friendship.

Ask yourself: Are you sharing intimate details about your current relationship with your ex? Are you seeking emotional support from them that you should be getting from your partner? If the answer is yes, it’s probably time to reevaluate your boundaries.


4. The New Partner’s Perspective

Consider how your current partner feels about your connection with your ex. Communication is key. A healthy conversation about the topic can provide valuable insights. Acknowledge your partner’s concerns, express your own feelings, and work together to find a solution that respects both your history and your present relationship.

In some cases, transparency and involving your partner in conversations with your ex can help alleviate concerns. But remember, it’s crucial to prioritize your current relationship and be clear with your ex  what the arrangement needs to be if you’re going to continue communication. 


5. The Nostalgia Trap

Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. It’s easy to reminisce about the good times with an ex and forget the reasons the relationship ended in the first place. Men are often susceptible to this as much as women. While reminiscing is natural, it’s essential to stay grounded in the reality of why you separated, who you’re committed to now and how you can best honor that person.

Ask yourself: Are you keeping in touch with your ex because you genuinely value their friendship and the bond you share, or is it driven by a desire to relive the past? Recognizing your motivations can help you make informed decisions.


6. The Nature of the Relationship

Consider the nature of your relationship with your ex. Were you close friends before you became romantically involved? If so, maintaining a friendship might seem more natural. On the other hand, if your connection was primarily romantic, shifting to a platonic friendship can be challenging.

Also, think about how your ex views the situation. Do they respect your current relationship, or do they have ulterior motives? It’s important to ensure that both parties have clearly communicated and understood  intentions regarding the connection.

The question of whether you should keep in touch with your ex is highly individual. What’s vital is that you approach this matter with empathy, respect for your current partner, and a keen understanding of your own motivations. For men navigating these waters, open communication, honesty, and well-defined boundaries for your current and previous relationship are your allies. Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future, and the key is to prioritize the health and happiness of your current relationship to keep it kickass!!

Until next time! Remember, happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.