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CommitmentCommunicationTrust & Honest

Tend to your garden, if you want it to grow

By June 29, 2022No Comments

Every time we do an interview on the Kickass Couples podcast we take away so many good pearls of wisdom and experience. Here are our key takeaways from our interview with dynamic couple, Erica and Scott Savor.

Scott is a leadership consultant and professional speaker for individual teams and companies. He specializes in the subjects of leadership, motivation, and mental training. He’s also a successful author of the book, “Uncommon Competitor: One Day Contracts”. His wife Erica, is a physical therapist specializing in treating athletes.

They came out of the gate saying that they aren’t perfect, but have a core value system.  They have a list of 25 questions written out, framed, and hung on the wall of their home to keep them on track with those core values each and every day. They feel like they’re all controllable and they’ve made reviewing them a daily discipline. They come as questions so they can look at that list at the end of the day and see what they’ve accomplished. 

Here are a couple of examples:

  1. Did I write down what I’m grateful for today? 
  2. Did I write down goals and responsibilities which I have 100% control over today? 
  3. Did I hug at hello? And did I hug at goodbye?

Scott said that evolution and wisdom always begin with a definition of terms. So if they want to be wise about their relationship, they’ve got to define what the terms are, what they agree to, and what they’re focusing on. That list today is right on the wall when they walk in the house. They can’t run away from it. It’s not in the closet, it’s not out of sight. They see it every time they come in. It’s a reminder to themselves of their contract, what they’ve committed to each other and what they have to work on. 

Scott also shared with us that he felt like communicating was an area he struggled with and needed to grow in. He believed that he inherited a communication deficit. He was raised by a stepfather and there was poor communication in that relationship, so he felt like that just   trickled down to him by default. 

In order to address this, Scott and Erica, have made communication intentional. They make time to communicate with check-ins and huddles. No matter how busy they are, they commit to connect, to relate (which builds trust), and then they repeat.

We love this method for communication success! 

  1. Connect.
  2. Relate.
  3. Trust.
  4. Repeat! 

It’s just five or 10 minutes a day and it really continues to create and maintain that bond between the two of you. It’s prioritizing your relationship. We can always say “I don’t have time for that now” or “I’m too busy now”, but when it comes right down to it, the most important thing is our relationship. If you don’t tend to that garden, it’s not going to grow.

More advice this couple shared with us was “don’t try to control everything”. You can’t control everything, but you CAN try to gain a better understanding, be a sponge, practice, and learn. And that’s why we’re doing the Kickass Couples podcast – so that we can learn from others! 

Thank you for sharing this time to read our blog and listen to the Kickass Couples podcast. Until next time. Remember, happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.