TRANSCRIPT
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
relationship, life, sean, business, kickass, create, commitment, people, communicate, la dolce vita, important, marriage, hear, desires, pillars, couples, clients, communication, husband, learn
SPEAKERS
Kimberly Hoffman, Sean Orr, Matthew Hoffman, Renia Orr
Matthew Hoffman 00:02
Welcome to the Kickass Couples Podcast. This is the place where we help middle couples who wants to level up their marriage experience newfound clarity, hope and confidence. We’re Matthew and Kim, co hosts and husband and wife.
Kimberly Hoffman 00:16
In 26 years together, we’ve seen a lot and never thought it could be as good as it is right now. We’re here to help you successfully navigate the messy, dirty and wonderful world of marriage.
Matthew Hoffman 00:28
We believe all couples deserve and are capable of experiencing an extraordinary and fulfilling marriage. And each week we’re bringing you live lessons from real life successful couples to help you grow and strengthen your relationship.
Kimberly Hoffman 00:43
We’ll get started right after this message. If you want to learn how to experience the best, most fulfilling year of your marriage, we invite you to order Matthew’s new book, “Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage and Sex”, you can get it at “Amazon.com” or visit Matthews website, “www.matthewphoffman.com” Again, that’s “Amazon.com” or “www.Matthew hoffman.com” And now back to the show.
Matthew Hoffman 01:18
Welcome back to the Kickass Couples Podcast. Today’s episode brings us the highly successful and business savvy couple Renia and Sean or who used their business skills and love for one another to form the business LDV La Dolce Vita elite. Renia is the founder of LDV La Dolce Vita Elite, an international business strategist and transformational coach with 30 years of deep experience. Renia has been a speaker for Fortune 500 companies appearing on NBC Nightly News with Chuck Scarborough and many other publications. Her mission is to empower women to become leaders in their industry, achieve financial freedom and live a life of true purpose. Her signature program La Dolce Vita Elite business mastery is a place for women who are ready to access proven and uniquely personalized business strategies and so much more. Sean is a CFO and Senior Operating Executive who has been successful in a wide range of different business environments from publicly owned to both global and developing stage privately owned companies. He is an effective business advisor and coach who believes in making a big lasting impact by building businesses properly from the foundation up using a values based approach. His executive and consulting experience has involved traveled to over 40 countries and six continents. Sean has held a wide range of senior executive positions such as president and corporate CFO roles at notable companies like PepsiCo, Frito, lay and Reader’s Digest. Let’s dive in and learn how these two powerhouses have been able to achieve their business and life success to their tightly knit life partnership in marriage.
Renia Orr 03:13
Let’s start on the intention before we go into the recording. And my intention is that this episode is brings the highest level of clarity, authenticity, and sharing with others our own journey, and that it inspires all our viewers to create even more beautiful, loving, fulfilling, inspiring relationships.
Matthew Hoffman 03:42
Welcome back to the “Kickass Couples Podcast” We are thrilled to be doing our second live zoom interview with a beautiful couple Renia and Sean or that are hitting us from the west coast of Florida. Y’all are in West Palm Beach, right? Yes. Welcome. We’re so glad to have you on the “Kickass Couples Podcast” Thank you for being with us today.
Sean Orr 04:05
Thank you for inviting us.
Matthew Hoffman 04:06
We’re happy to have you. And you know, I love the opportunity to get to know some more terrific people. We were introduced to you from our good friend Holly. And she hasn’t struck out yet. She continues to bring incredible people. So we start off every episode with the same question. So Renia, I’m going to ask this to you if it’s okay. I’d like to know what do you think makes you and Sean a kick ass couple?
Renia Orr 04:34
I think what makes us very unique and kick us couple is that we have a vision. And we have the clarity and we have the commitment to create a very intentional living. And we go about building our relationship the same exact way as we are building our businesses. So that starts with knowing what we really, really want And, and setting the intentions and doing the work every day and inspiring each other, and having also the support in our cultures and in each other’s to keep us accountable, to create an life of meaning and purpose and authenticity.
Matthew Hoffman 05:19
That’s beautiful and well thought out. Thank you. How about you, Sean, what would you add to that? What do you think makes you?
Sean Orr 05:25
Well, first of all, you know, when he asked what makes us a kiss kickass couple, I would like to think it was obvious that we’re fond was sexy, and it’s obvious that we enjoy,
Renia Orr 05:38
I should ask Sean, that question first.
Sean Orr 05:46
Luck, we both grew up in very, very different circumstances. And I’m sure we’ll get into this as part of the podcast, but when we met each other, were both looking for more individual love, care and support. And I think we knew we were truly meant for each other when we went on a vacation together in St. Martin, where we are literally together 24/7 for a week, and neither of us were used to that. And we are literally never apart from one another. And we each had the best time of our lives. So we knew we were meant for each other. And it remains that way to this day. But we work at it because we enjoy each other but we communicate. And I think we we are sharing the same vision as Renia said, and our goals are, are very similar. And we we are very committed to supporting one another and we feel it and we live it in it. And it hopefully it shows to other people as well.
Matthew Hoffman 06:49
It does, it does. I mean this is I got to briefly speak with you once before, and you can you know you can, without the words being spoken, you can look at a couple look at an individual and you can see what they feel and a little bit about them. And, you know, if I had to not knowing you and looking at you I see just beautiful I see radiance, I see love, I see friendship, and it’s you both used it in your own words. And so I certainly appreciate that.
Kimberly Hoffman 07:18
Yeah, I love hearing that you are each other’s number one project, you look at it as a business, and you give it the time and the commitment and the energy that it takes, you know, to be prosperous in your relationships. So I think it’s important for our listeners to hear that.
Matthew Hoffman 07:37
Thank you.
Renia Orr 07:37
You would not go into business without a plan and the commitment, and the passion and growth and expansion is a part of it. So this is the same exact formula applies to kick ass couple relationship. And, and that’s what we want in our business. And that’s what we want in our life.
Sean Orr 08:01
Absolutely. It’s funny, Renia is a business coach, and many of her her clients are owner operators of their businesses. And it’s hard to separate the professional counseling from the personal counseling because these people, their lives, and their businesses are very integrated. But what it’s taught us is you really shouldn’t be managing your professional life any differently than you manage your personal life and more importantly, vice versa. Where when you go into business, you have a plan. You try to execute against that plan, and you’ll hold yourself accountable for achieving the desired results. But why wouldn’t you manage the relationship that way?
Renia Orr 08:53
So when someone I’ve met shortly after, I mean, he already told you the story about our vacation, we’ve created our first vision board, and we put everything and anything that we truly desired at this stage of our relationship. And it was the blueprint of what we want. And it was an amazing opportunity for us to communicate what we want because, you know, I work with many couples and sometimes people who are together for 2530 years, they don’t know what they want. They have never had this discussion. So we had this discussion in the beginning of our relationship. And it was transformational, and we’ve made a commitment to create those vision boards every single year. It’s our tradition. And it’s truly the also an opportunity for us to clarify what our our our desires are, like really deep deep in our hearts. What we want next what we what we are ready for more in our lives and in our relationships.
Sean Orr 09:59
And it’s just like writing down a plan, the vision board serves the same purpose. And it’s funny because we do one every year. And so we were just going back over all the ones recently, and I think we looked at the one from 2018. And we had a picture of Cole cars that we wanted to own. And one of the pictures was of a white convertible, which is the exact car I now own. And we just stopped and said, Oh, my God, that’s our car. That’s but you know, I’m reading a book now that does talk, I think it’s called infinite possibilities. And the first chapter is about thoughts become things. And before you ever make something happen, you have to think at first. Sure, okay. And then once you’re thinking, getting it down on paper, and committing yourself to realizing that dream is all part of making it happen. And the vision board for us as part of that, so we just really had to laugh when we saw the exact car, same color, you know, the same color roof, same make and model. And
Matthew Hoffman 11:21
Sean, I mean, I got to interrupt you, because I think you you talked about in your about what makes you kick ass couple, you talked about intentionality. And you you’re intentional and your business, you’re intentional in your relationship. And I think the vision board with a car is a nice illustration of the power of that intentionality. And we’re excited about getting more into that. And I think Kim is going to talk to you about our first pillar and see what we can learn about a little bit more about y’all.
Kimberly Hoffman 11:46
Yeah, we have, we have 14 pillars, and I think you have that list in front of you that we believe are essential in a very successful marriage. And we’re going to talk about the first three a little more in detail. The first is commitment. And I’d love to know what Renia commitment looks like to you. And your relationship was Sean.
Renia Orr 12:11
To me commit. And I, by the way, I absolutely love the pillars. And when we were talking about my husband actually asked me yesterday, which one is the most important to you. And I said commitment. Because commitment is transcends everything. commitment to our relationship commitment is like it’s making a decision and decision means incision, just cutting off all that we don’t want to be a part of, and really stepping into our vision, our our commitment to how we want to live our life. So to me, the most important of your pillars is the commitment pillar.
Kimberly Hoffman 12:58
How about for you, Sean, do you have anything to add to that?
Sean Orr 13:03
When and, you know, while while I’m sure it get into our background, so what we’re looking for in our current relationship, but I think we’re both looking for more individual love, care and support. And I decided in this relationship that instead of putting myself first, I want to put the relationship first or at least co equal to what’s important to me. So understanding what Rachel wanted and then being committed and accountable to supporting her in achieving it was very important to us. So we spent a lot of time talking with each other about what we want on not just a long term basis. But what we want to do next week, why don’t we want to do and net tomorrow? Why don’t we want to do today? Okay, and we’ll have weekly planning meetings. Most evenings, we take a long walk with our dogs, which gives us a great opportunity to talk and share. After we work out every day, we go to the beach for about 15 minutes first thinking session where we think together and share our thoughts. When we go to dinner. Sometimes we have quote unquote board meetings, where we just say okay, how are things going? What do we need? How are we doing?
Matthew Hoffman 14:27
Yeah, so Sean, I think what I want to Yeah, I would I love you hit on a point and I’ve got to bring it out on commitment is that our whole platform is about prioritization. And what I heard you say is that you prioritize wrenches needs above your own and more importantly, you’re looking at the US you take it’s not I were you, but you’re saying I need to make sure I’m working for the US and I give it as higher priority or higher than me. So your take getting yourself out or putting yourself second. And that’s a beautiful example, I think that you just shared of commitment and it kind of leaves and you started talking a little bit about communication. And so I want to, that’s our second pillar or the second of the three C’s. And so Renia, I want to kind of jump back to you and say, What does communication look like between you and Sean? How do you guys make sure you have it, and that it’s good. And what have you found works most effectively for you to communicate well with your number one.
Renia Orr 15:29
Number one is creating time for it. It goes back to the commitment, you know, commitment is not award, it’s an action that we take every day. So truly, I feel like if something if we make a decision that something is important to us, and we step into the space that this is truly non negotiable. For me, my relationship with my husband is non negotiable. So we we truly take the time to communicate, because I think that the lack of commitment, and the lack of closeness in the relationship comes from not communicating with each other. So creating the time we drive to the gym together, we talk about our day, we talk about our intentions, we go to the to the gym, we finish our workout, we have our thinking time, 1015 minutes on the beach, when we have to get back to the office. But truly it is creating the time to communicate.
Matthew Hoffman 16:38
And when you say create the time, what does that look like for the two of you? Is it? Is it scheduling? Is it agreeing that you’re both going to do it, because we all would love to be able to create more time to do things that we want to do right? So what is creating time look like you gave me a few, a few good examples there is there is or what what gets in the way is anything get in the way of you having a good communication, or what have been some of those challenges that you faced around good communication.
Renia Orr 17:04
As I said, I I really bring a lot of principles that I teach in business coaching and business strategy into our relationship. So setting an intention I actually have this morning ritual that I share with my clients and with my husband is setting an intention in the morning, where your attention goes, your energy flows. So we really need to be very intentional. If you don’t take time, especially in the morning, when you have the power to create your day and create your day by intention, other people will create the day for you and your life as well. So really, for me, for me personally, is taking the time for myself in the morning, that’s also non negotiable, a half an hour, 45 minutes, depending of the day, I said, I write my intention, I remind myself of my desires. And I write down three, four action steps that I will take that day. So if it is having a date night with my husband, if it is complimenting him, if it is creating an experience having a lunch together, creating a time for, for the time in my schedule to have our lunch together, we’re very committed to our health and wellness, as well. That’s our priority. That’s how we can show up fully in our marriage and and in our life and in our business. So the vibration that I set myself in the morning carries me throughout the day. I’m not saying that always stays, but you need to take the dose of inspiration.
Matthew Hoffman 18:45
Right. Well, you’re I love the idea and maybe Renia you’ll share with us we’d love to share your intention, practice and give you credit for that. And that’s something that might help people be more intentional about their communication, because it doesn’t just happen. relationships don’t just happen. Commitment doesn’t just happen. Good communication. So setting that intention of how and when you’re going to communicate. And you also did another great thing and then Sean I wants you to have anything additive is you’re creating rituals. And it’s not rituals that are empty, that just oh, we always walk in the house the same door. That’s not what I mean. But you’re creating those rituals of exercise and thinking time of board meetings. You’re creating the times for those necessary elements to be developed and invested and kindled to keep that relationship so strong. And I love that Sean, what would you add about communication like what do you when you think of communication with your bride there?
Sean Orr 19:39
Well, I think you talked about you we asked about scheduling and I think we’re very fortunate because we’ve spent a lot of time together because we work together now to I just retired from my corporate life. And now we’re now working together in that consulting and coaching business. But we’ve bought, because we’ve spent a lot a lot of time together, it’s convenient to communicate. But that doesn’t mean it still isn’t necessary to schedule specific time. So we try to have a planning discussion every Sunday evening to plan the week. And every couple of weeks, we sit down and review our goals and objectives and how we’re progressing against them. Just like as I said, before, a business would be reviewing its performance. So scheduling and making sure that we commit the time not just casually, but in a, in a scheduled way is an important part of it. But just from a different perspective, and I’ll keep this short. I think having in business, a buzzword now these days is transparency. And making sure whether you’re communicating internally or to external audiences, you’re as transparent as you possibly can meaning open and honest. And that that is especially true in a relationship. Okay, so it’s important that we both feel that it’s safe to discuss anything with one another, and know that it’s gonna be received in the right kind of way, not in a judgmental way, but in a supportive, understanding way. So that openness and honesty I think is an important part of the the equation when it comes to communication.
Matthew Hoffman 21:33
That’s a good book. And thank you for that. When it comes to creating a kick ass marriage, do you ever wonder what you could be doing better? Have you ever thought helpful would be to be a part of a like minded community of other imperfect couples who want to level up and their number one relationship? Come visit “Kickass Couples Nation” where you can talk with people just like you are looking for ways to invest in and increase their joy, commitment, and fulfillment in their most important human relationship. You’ll have access to a team of licensed marriage therapists, coaches, articles, podcasts, live webinars and more. Just visit “Matthewphoffman.com” So you can learn more about a community that’s ready to help you level up. That’s “Matthewphoffman.com” So you can become of the growing Kickass Couples Nation, right now.
Kimberly Hoffman 22:25
I wonder to talk a little bit about conflict resolution, and that’s the third of our three C’s. Because we know over the span of relationship, we’re going to have disagreements and then we’re going to be things that are going to come up that we’re going to have to deal with. So I’m curious Renia, how do you handle conflict in your relationship with Sean, when things come up? What do you do to navigate that?
Renia Orr 22:52
I think you should ask Sean first because this is his zone of genius. I am not. He is the angel in our relationship. I’m the messer upper.
Kimberly Hoffman 23:02
Okay, angel, how do you fix it?
Matthew Hoffman 23:05
Let’s hear from the angel.
Sean Orr 23:06
So let’s, but what not unique, everybody goes through this. And we do too. And we’re lot better at it than we were at the beginning of our relationship. I just retired from corporate life. And I’m now working with Renia. But I did get some coaching for a couple months when I was going through the transition between being a full time corporate executive, and now an add home husband and business partner to try to just reset my own expectations and goals and objectives in my new life. Right. And, you know, part of that was reaching a better understanding of some of the things that make me tick and even some of the things that make a reindeer tick. And one of the things we learned is that we each have triggers and patterns. And most of those triggers and patterns state back to our childhood. Okay, and what was important to us, because the reason we did this was we figured with me not working full time anymore, we’re going to be spending more time together. And we want to make sure it was so uncomfortable and easy as possible. And so we want to understand our triggers and patterns better. And we learn from that and we’re not perfect. And sometimes when we get frustrated with each other after the fact we need to do a post mortem. And we go back to the triggers. So we’d go back to the patterns and say, you know, how could we have handled this better and how could we have done it differently? And well, it’s a it’s a it’s a learning process. We are a lot better at it now than we were when we first started. Ended up going through this um But, but I think it’s been a very, very helpful way to approach any kind of tension that sometimes can happen.
Kimberly Hoffman 25:09
I love that you look at conflict as an opportunity. And we talk a lot about how we really believe that it’s an invitation to learn about each other. So while a lot of people are very fearful of confrontation, we’ve kind of looked at it from a different angle, and really believe that it’s an opportunity that we can learn more about each other. And really learn what like you said those triggers are and how to navigate conflict, so that we’re not, you know, having anger, but yeah, we’re, we’re expressing our feelings and learning from one another from the opportunity.
Matthew Hoffman 25:48
Yeah. And I think you too, you made you made great mention, we want to kind of take a step back. And, you know, we came in, I both believe that we all have a little grandpa in our bones. And you each, we mentioned this earlier, when we started our conversation, I’d like to go back there and read you maybe start with you. But in order for us to best understand you and more about your relationship and others. I’d love to hear from you. What did love look like for you growing up from the people that raised you the family that you were in? What was modeled to you? And what did you take from that? And how is it relevant in your relationship today?
Renia Orr 26:26
I was born and raised in communist Poland. And so a lot of my childhood was centered more about on survival. You know, it was a very specific time. And it’s very hard to even explain to people now how did it look like but truly communism taught me how Self Reliance because and, and how to be strong, and how to persevere and how to make things happen when you have no resources. So it’s, you know, my, I learned very early on because I’m the only child. And we come from totally different backgrounds. And my mother left the country when I was 16. And I took care of my sick grandfather. So to me, love relationship. Togetherness was not something that was modeled to me, I actually learn, I actually had a very clear vision about what I do not want in my relationship. And when I moved to the United States, I was in a relationship in for 17 years and, and I have a daughter, I am moved to the United States, at the age of 35. To start my life over, I left behind my difficult marriage. And without any resources, I left two of my businesses home, my my family, my friends and life as I knew it, and move to the United States with my teenage daughter. And when I, I was single for five years, before Shawn and I’ve met, so I had a long time to really clarify how my relationship look, how do I want my relationship to look like, and I remember the moment that being alone in a new country, and I remember my daughter went to college, and I was alone. And I went to the library, and I was looking for ways to change my life. It was it was very difficult. And I found the book asking it is given. And in this book, there are the book talks about the processes. And in the end of the book, there are 22 If I remember it correctly, processes. So the relationship between Sean and I was something that I’ve actually created. Through those processes. I got clear about what kind of man do I want to be with what qualities that I want this person to have? How do I want him to treat me? So our relationship in the beginning stages was my pure imagination. I remember going every day for a walk in the morning, and I was saying my mantras and I was feeling the love and cherish. And that was the beginning of how I created what I want. Instead of being focused on I what I do not want because when we are in the problem, we cannot create the solution and me moving and that’s why probably after getting a divorce I was You know, I’m single for so long, because I required this quality to this, this clarity, to have to step into the next relationship with, with full clarity how I want that to have without having that example. In my life, I didn’t even know people who had the relationship that I wanted to have.
Kimberly Hoffman 30:24
So you really used your past experience to let, as you said, helped shape a vision for what you wanted and what your expectations would be out of the next relationship. How about how about you, Shawn? What was what was love? Modeled or how was love modeled to you when you were younger?
Sean Orr 30:46
Renia and I have very different backgrounds. But there’s some similarities as well. I come from a large Irish Catholic family. I’m one of six siblings.
Matthew Hoffman 30:55
Oh, wow.
Sean Orr 30:56
Okay, and my four grandparents all and were immigrants from Ireland. My parents were first generation the United States. And no, it wasn’t communist Poland. But they were there were fighting for a new life here in the United States, my grandparents and even my parents to a lesser degree. And so there was a lot of group love and group support, because they were making new lives for themselves. So they’re always there for each other, if they needed, help with babysitters or help in doing, you know, just about anything, work on the house, or whatever, but they were very supportive as a group. And so that belonging to a large group that was supportive of one another was the type of love that I saw the most stuff when I was younger, what I did not see was a lot of deep individual love, there wasn’t a lot of love on an individual basis, you were one of six, okay, and your saw always did things together, okay, and you were treated all the same. So the individuality of love was never something I felt and it wasn’t deep. And it was, and it wasn’t an emotional support, it was more of a, you know, practical two ranges point protect and survive, kind of support. So what I was looking for, and in my relationship with Ranger, I’ve radically and this is why we’ve been such a wonderful match was I was looking for the same thing. You know, when I go back to family gatherings, now, we roll revert back to the roles and the behaviors that we learned growing up, because when I got back there, um, shine on the number two son, on the good one at this, that and the other thing. And, you know, you just revert back to roles, I wanted to become myself. And I wanted to love somebody and have somebody love me for being the individual that I am. And help me make the most out of myself, and make the most out of our relationship together. And I think that’s what we’ve done for each other
Matthew Hoffman 33:22
be it’s beautiful. It sounds like you both came, as you said different but similar in some ways, backgrounds. And you each had, what I hear you saying is you each had a vision for what you wanted, based on and you found each other and you had a very similar vision, and fulfilling that for each other even through those differences. And I and I love that because successful relationships, kick ass relationships, it’s not about finding your carbon copy. It’s not about finding someone who’s just like you, right? That would be kind of you, we I think we’d get over that pretty quickly. I kind of boring and you guys are so unique individually. But your desires and your values are in alignment with each other. And so that’s I think, why your, your foundation, your commitment is so strong, and it’s allowed you to be successful. And I love to hear that story of where you both came from. So I appreciate you all sharing that.
Kimberly Hoffman 34:15
So when your relationship is flowing, and things are going great, and you guys are just, you know really moving forward in life and in love, your cups are running over, and we have a concept that we talk about which is spillover. And so when your cup is so full, it just can’t help but spill over into other areas of your life. And so Renya I would love to hear from you. What are some ways that your relationship and the success of your relationship has spilled over into other areas of your life?
Renia Orr 34:56
Great question. You know I have this this plan process called the circle of life, I don’t know if you’re familiar with it, it shows different aspects of our life that 12 of them. And I’ve done it hundreds and 1000s of times with myself and with my clients. And you know what we’ve discovered that if you make a change, make a difference, like, truly commit to changing one, one aspect of our lives, it changes all of them. So no matter if you are, if you are working on your on your relationship on improving your relationship, or improving your business are improving your spirituality, or you are improving your body, it always brings expansion into all aspects of, of our lives. To me, our relationship is my core. It’s my core for my expression, it’s the core for me, is stepping into my power in my business, in truly helping others create what we have, create a very powerful, successful business, but also create the communication. In the relationship, that is a totally different level, I work with the queen and king archetype. So I invite women and men to step into their king court and their queen hood, to activate the wisdom, the the power that we have to take personal charge for all aspects of our lives. Because when we show up fully in any aspect of our life, everybody benefits around us, we uplift others with us. So that that is my answer.
Kimberly Hoffman 36:56
Beautiful.
Matthew Hoffman 36:56
It’s beautiful. It’s a great example.
Kimberly Hoffman 36:58
It is an awesome example. How about, how about you, Sean?
Sean Orr 37:03
Well, I think one of the ways it’s spilling over is that we’re now at a point, especially with me, being retired from corporate work. We’re now at a point where it’s just natural for us to be working together in a business partnership.
Renia Orr 37:20
And I love it. We flow we flow we have business intensives with our clients and we’d
Sean Orr 37:28
You’re stealing my thunder here.
Renia Orr 37:29
Oh, I’m sorry.
Sean Orr 37:34
But I
Renia Orr 37:35
I’m enhancing it.
Sean Orr 37:36
I think a lot of what we’re talking about in terms of our relationship flows over to to the business because we’re both believers and big believers in the law of attraction. And we’re both big believers in living intentionally and that just when Renia described before that she she thought about and designed the relationship she wanted, before making it a reality. Well, that’s how life can work if if you work at it. And we believe that in how we manage our lives. And I believe that in terms of how you manage a business, because a business is a term managed by objectives, it’s the same thing. So a lot of our approach to everything spills over into our business. And we’ve had some joint court coaching sessions that Renia was just alluding to, where we’ve spent all day with individual clients. And we tagged him sometimes we’re focusing on them as people and what they’re trying to accomplish, and why they want to be successful, and what that’s going to do to feed their needs and desires and their personal life. And sometimes we’re getting into more substantive business issues. But we flow exceedingly well together, we’re practically completing one another’s sentences, and it shows to the clients and it makes for a much easier experience for our clients. When they’re not dealing with good cop, bad cop, one message, different message, but that what we’re, what we’re trying to communicate to them and share with them. There’s a consistency in that it’s a single message.
Kimberly Hoffman 39:22
Sure, and people can see that they can see it and they can feel it. And I think people can’t help but want to have some of that experience. Exactly what you two have together. I think it’s awesome.
Matthew Hoffman 39:35
Love that. So we’ve talked a lot about pillars and concepts and qualities and ideas. And really, I’d like you to look at that list of 14 pillars. We’ve given a lot of airtime to those three C’s which are foundational, but of the other 11 pillars that you see on there, which one of those 11 pops out and is important to you and your relationship and why?
Renia Orr 39:57
So we talked about the commitment or As the most important part, but the next I agree with your numbers in the number two is communication. When I communicate with Sean, when we have truly authentic discussions going deep, I feel him, I feel that connection. And when you ask the right questions, it’s amazing what comes out. And we very often we, we use our cultures, as well to support us to go deeper into what we desire. And when we communicate truly, authentically. And as Sean said, without the fear of being judged, or in or not being ourselves when we truly open that, to me, communication is the way that I feel the closest I feel safe, I feel part I feel, I feel seen, I feel that I can be truly who I am. And he is supporting that and he is with me. So to me, the number two would be communication.
Matthew Hoffman 41:18
And then Sean, if you had to look outside of those three C’s, but not one, two, or three, if you looked at four through 14, what other those pillars jumps out at you? Or do you think has an active role in your relationship with Renia?
Sean Orr 41:30
Well, gee, it’s really hard, because I’m looking at them. They’re all important. I talked about trust and honesty earlier. So I won’t go over that again. And I think selflessness has been part of the theme of a lot of the things we’ve been saying, and I wasn’t expecting to talk about this, but it’s just triggered. A thought in me is servant leadership. And first, again, I got to talk about parallels between, you know, professional relationships and personal relationships. But in in my corporate world, I was taught a lot about servant leadership that the most effective leaders aren’t dictators, but they’re people that create a culture and environment that allow other people to flourish, and perform at their fullest. And so in a relationship, I think, in terms of servant partnership, where part of your role now you still need to be anchored in who you are, and be a strong self, but serve a partnership as creating a relationship that has a culture and environment where your partner can flourish, and live her life to the fullest. And as a result, the two of you together, can live a life together to the fullest. So, so in looking at this list, and we’ve looked at it at a number of times, but just this very moment, that was the one that jumped out at me and made me want to make the comments, I just made
Matthew Hoffman 43:13
Thank you, that’s great, good, good.
Renia Orr 43:15
I think I found it having fun is so important to us to truly we are all about creating the experiences, we are all about travels, we’re all about spending time with ourselves out of our business, when we can totally just focus on pleasures and being with each other, and just just really hearing each other and having the experiences outside of our daily routines that are so enriching our relationship, we just came back from a very long trips. And it was transformational for our relationship because it was so much fun.
Sean Orr 44:01
But you know what, what we’re trying to do is make our business a lifestyle. And so we just came back from the south of France and from Venice. And when you’re in business for yourself, you’re always networking and we’ve met any number of people while we’re overseas, some of which, some of whom are from the US. In fact, one is from West Palm has become a good friend and a client by but we’re we’re trying to network in the same circles that we want to do business in and we want to select who we do business with, and don’t necessarily do business for friends, but make friends of the people we do business with and make it make it fun and rewarding at the same time.
Matthew Hoffman 44:54
Great approach. Well, you all have been so gracious to us with your time and your journey. In answers, we’ve loved getting to know you a little bit better and hear about what makes that kick ass relationship tick. If people want to find you and learn more about you and what you do, where’s the best place for them to look to learn more.
Renia Orr 45:14
“LDVElite.com” LDV stands for La Dolce Vita, of course, that’s our brand. And this is the essence of how we want to work and how we want to live. So LDVElite is our website “LDVElite.com”
Matthew Hoffman 45:32
Beautiful, Well, we look forward to sharing that in our notes with all of our listeners. We thank you again.
Kimberly Hoffman 45:39
Yes, we have really enjoyed every minute with you all we love hearing about your visioning and your intentionality in your relationship. I think that’s all great pearls for our listeners to hear and to put into their own practice.
Matthew Hoffman 45:56
So thanks for showing up and sharing and opening your living room to us today. We look forward to sharing the episode with everybody else, and we’ll be in touch with you guys soon.
Sean Orr 46:07
Great, thank you both very much and lovely to speaking with you.
Kimberly Hoffman 46:14
That’s all we’ve got for this episode of the Kickass Couples Podcast. If you liked the content of the show, the love Matthews newly released book “Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage and Sex” To receive a digital mini book of quotes and images from the book. All you have to do is rate this show and leave a review on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune into. Then email us a screenshot of your review at “podcast@kickasscouplespodcast.com” And we’ll get it over to you right away. Until next time, remember happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.