The best part of all of the interviews we do on the Kickass Couples Nation podcast is that we take something special and unique from each and every one of them. It is such a blessing and a fun opportunity.
Today’s focus is on a couple that both came into their relationship having been married before. Two-time Grammy nominee saxophone player, Mindi Abair, and wine expert, Eric Guerra, shared a big secret to their success with us during their interview on the Kickass Couples podcast.
The secret? At the beginning of their relationship, they wrote down a master plan for their life together. It was a roadmap that they both came up with and agreed to.
We love this idea and feel couples should spend more time discussing foundational things and developing a roadmap together for their marriage. A roadmap requires talking about what your visions look like for your future together. It’s really important to talk about things like religion, for example, because it may be a foundation for one and not the other. It’s important to talk about if that person is a curious person and eager to learn new things. Also, it’s crucial to discuss if one wants kids and the other doesn’t. It’s good to spend a lot of time breaking down these major life choices and talking about where each partner is on each of those things. A roadmap allows you to start with a shared understanding and an expectation about some of those life issues that you’re going to approach in your life’s journey together.
A great way to talk about that is:
- What do you think success looks like in a relationship?
- Are we on the same page, and if not, are we able to meld that together successfully?
- Do we have the same outlook on life?
- Do we have the same vision?
Life gets in the way and stuff happens, but being intentional and having that conversation is a critical and necessary step whether it’s before marriage, or any time during your life-long relationship. Imagine getting into your first marriage and having that conversation – you’re going to avoid a lot of things and gain a lot of understanding into your partner’s inner world.
During COVID, Mindi and Eric proceeded with their roadmap by reimagining their business. They gathered on their front porch and invited people over for wine and music. This combined the best of both their backgrounds. Their front porch became a ministry. Their neighbors and friends would pop in. Fast-forward – they now curate wine and design the labels for their wine and jazz club. They also work together on playlists to listen to while you enjoy the wine. And four times a year, you get to see those playlists performed live in concert while enjoying the wine paired for the experience. Their social experiment successfully became a business they love growing together.
This is similar to the podcast that we get to do together. One of our favorite things about the Kickass Couples Nation platform is that we get to do it with someone we love the most. And we’re learning, sharing, and doing it together. Mindy and Eric have their little side business and we have this. No matter if it’s business, pleasure, or recreation, having those activities that you can do together with your spouse that bring you both joy is important. It’s a great win-win for ‘us’.
Mindi and Eric are a couple who inspire others. Here’s a quote they shared with us to complete our blog post today: “Find someone who brings out all of the great things we want to be.”
Until next time. Remember, happily ever after doesn’t just happen. It’s on purpose.